Posts Tagged ‘shameless self-promotion’

>My Lecture Tonight on Urban Travel

June 2nd, 2009 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>Adult Education is a Brooklyn-based monthly event series where various speakers present brief, multimedia lectures on a shared theme. Tonight’s theme is Urban Travel, and I will be sharing some of the “treasures” one can find by taking a subway roadtrip with the A train. The podium will be graced with three other esteemed speakers discussing subway map design, subway sketch art, and people who refuse to vacate seats specifically designated for people with disabilities when a person who has a visible disability enters the train. (Part of me has extra love for the last one because the blog URL is so long: www.peoplewhositinthedisabilityseatswhenimstandingonmycrutches.com.)

Time Out New York selected the lecture to highlight on their Own This City blog, so you know it will be good. Plus, it is only $5. Bargains like this are hard to come by!

I’ll have copies of Off the Beaten (Subway) Track available for $15. (That’s a whopping $1.95 off the cover price!)

Critical Info:
Union Hall
702 Union St (between Fifth and Sixth Ave)
Park Slope, Brooklyn
718-638-4400

Closest subway: M, R to Union St
For other directions: http://www.unionhallny.com

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>Writing about Pubic Hair Removal Restores My Good Spirits

June 1st, 2009 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in writing

>I woke up this morning grumpy and unsettled. With all the serious shit that is going on in the world, like the assassination of Dr. George Tiller and the amount of money that banks are spending to lobby against sensible regulation, I feared that I could not do a good job on my BlogHer topic of the day, pubic hair shaving. Oddly enough, once I got going with my old friend, I felt a lot better. If you can’t mock the crap out of pubic hair removal, what can you mock?

Plus, this latest BlogHer post is the third that I wrote in the past three weeks that returned me to my humor roots. In the last year, I’ve become so serious. I started blogging and writing almost four years ago (!) to find a funny outlet for my anger. It’s nice to go back to that.

More bad jokes, less frustration!

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>On the Radio, Part II

March 24th, 2009 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in random

>I think I have a voice for silent movies, but whatever – I was very excited to do my first live radio interview yesterday! In the event that anyone has a fleeting interest in foreclosure prevention and New York City, I think this is the link to the podcast. I come on halfway through the two hour program, and my colleague and I engage in conversation for 50 minutes.

When I entered the studio and saw the microphones and headsets, I thought I might throw up. My heart battered my rib cage. Fortunately, the host was an excellent facilitator with great questions, and my colleague was a pro at live shows. I quickly relaxed and had fun. I like radio better than TV (not that I’ve been on TV), as I did not have to worry about how my hair appeared.

Of course, the first person to call into the show was a raving lunatic conspiracy theorist type. Somehow, that struck me as appropriate. The rest of the show was great, and afterward, the host invited me to come back and talk about my book! Very exciting!

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>Slipper When Wet

December 14th, 2008 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>”Watch out when you go in the shower,” my mom said to my sister on Saturday morning. “The tub is slippery.”

“Duh! That’s how tubs are!”

“No, really. The cleaning people came and removed five inches of soap scum, so it’s extra slippery.”

That said, I had a very nice visit today. My nuclear unit took in the latest movie starring my long lost twin Adrien Brody, Cadillac Records, which I enjoyed. Lots of food for thought. Then I obtained a new white turtleneck for a mere $7, which I will use to replace the stained one I’ve had since junior high.

For dinner, we celebrated my birthday at Red Lobster, which was a special treat for me. (Sometimes I just want to promote osmosis my eating salty cheddar biscuits. Ha ha – no really, my peach-bourbon BBQ shrimp and scallops were good.) Afterward, we had cake at home. Usually I love yellow cake with fudge icing from Jewel, the local grocery chain, but the cake I picked out wasn’t so moist and the frosting detached from the cake in clumps. I took the opportunity to interview my grandma and bubbe about their families, though, and that was nice for the most part.

Assuming the weather is agreeable (it’s supposed to rain), I’m heading back to my own ten inches of soap scum this evening, and I’m sad that it went by so fast, although I look forward to seeing Husband. And I got an upgrade on the flight back, so that will be nice.

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>Happy Blogiversary, CUSS!

October 19th, 2008 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in hilarity

>As we walked home from dinner on Friday night, I told Husband that Sunday is the 3rd anniversary of CUSS. “Did you think it would be a fad when I started blogging?” I asked.

“Yes,” he replied. “I mean, how many blogs make it past a few months, or even weeks, before people move on?”

Yet, here we are. Blogging, as cliche as it may sound, changed my life. When I drafted my first blog post, I was a burned out do-gooder on the verge of snapping. Even though I only wrote a few paragraphs every day, I realized how much I enjoyed writing my little stories and rants. I “met” awesome people, some of whom even softened my hard core stance against unshaved snatch. A year later, I pursued a life that incorporated writing.

Although, some of what I wrote on Oct. 19, 2005 makes me cringe, I think in celebration of three years of blogging and personal growth, it is worth republishing. Happy Blogiversary, CUSS!

Why the world needs pubic hair

Far be it from humble unstylish little me to suggest that the New York Times Style Section is lagging on their trend reports, but in a Sept. 1 article titled “Skin Deep: The Revised Birthday Suit,” they breathlessly reported that significant numbers of women are opting for totally bald crotches, or if not totally bald, then certainly having large tracts of hair ripped out so they can look “sexy.” Please. Cosmo has been reporting for years that men prefer women with little or no pubic hair. Brazilian waxes went mainstream along time ago. Which, quite frankly, scares me. What on earth would make a woman spread her legs wide in front of a cosmetician, allow her to smear hot wax into her vagina, and then have all her hair ripped out? This sounds like something the US government might institute as a torture tactic in Abu Gharib. (And they could easily justify it by noting it can’t possibly be torture if gazillions of American women voluntarily have this done all the time.)

No, it is scary and wrong to me. For goodness’ sake, pubic hair exists for a reason. We lost most of our body hair during evolution. We lost our tails. We grew taller. So what’s left seems to have a purpose. And we need our pubic hair! Think of pubic hair as vagina eyelashes – they stop bad things from getting inside during sex and causing infections. Pubic hair is our friend.

I’m not sure how we so quickly arrived at this hairless situation, but it’s arguable that it is the popularity of g-strings, thongs, and other revealing bikini bottoms and underwear that led to the widespread (ha ha) acceptance and even expectation of shaved beavers. Fair enough, but I’d say that if your cooch hairs are hanging out of your bikini bottom, the solution is not to have them torn out of your vag and butt, but to get bigger bottoms. Think of pubic hairs as an organic warning system of sorts. It’s Mother Nature preventing you from humiliation by telling you to put on some clothes because you look obscene.

Let’s face it: female genitals got the nicknames pussy and beaver because they are furry. And who wants a hairless cat? No one. Having a hairless cat doesn’t even help if you are allergic to cats since the problem is with the dander, not fur. Feline pussies with fur are nice to stroke. Hairless cats are freaky. The same goes for human pussies and beavers, my friends.

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>October Public Service Announcement: Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October 13th, 2008 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in writing

>Is there anything more despicable than exploiting the fear of breast cancer to sell women products that may actually cause the disease? That’s what Breast Cancer Awareness Month is all about these days. Check out my snarky remarks on this travesty of a mockery of a sham at BlogHer. My mom had breast cancer when she was 33, so this stuff hits me right on a pinched nerve.

In other news, my uber-talented brother-in-law created an author website for me. As usual, it is the bomb. In exchange for his help, I’m promoting his gourmet cooking business, Hot Pot Culinary Events. Hot Pot will conduct cooking parties and/or lessons right in the comfort of your own home! Fun times are practically guaranteed.

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