Posts Tagged ‘I’m Famous (Not)’

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>23 Years Later, I’m Back in the WSJ

September 1st, 2009 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>My, how things change and remain the same in 23 years. When Jeffrey Zaslow came to interview girls in my school in 1986, who knew he would go on to co-author the zillion copy seller The Last Lecture and then The Girls from Ames? Who knew that I’d go on to, uh, blogging and authoring non-best selling books about unusual things to see and do in New York City? (Hell, who knew that there’d be blogging?) Who knew that the pressure on girls to look thin would go from bad to worse?

A few weeks ago, I re-read the 1986 article about girls and dieting while I was working my thesis.* I thought, damn, everyone in the story is on Facebook. It would be so interesting to follow up on it. On a whim, I emailed Zaslow and suggested it. He agreed.

The follow up article is up at Wall Street Journal. (Although the article does not mention it, I cackled after I made my comment about models.) The online edition doesn’t have pictures, so I’ll be curious if the print version does.

*To be scanned and posted on CUSS.

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>The Non-Guide to the BlogHer Conference

July 16th, 2009 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in random

>It’s that time of the year, when the BlogHer conference is just around the corner, and people freak out and worry obsessively: what to wear, what if no one wants to talk to me, etc. etc. It’s also that time of the year when “experienced” BlogHer attendees write posts and guides to BlogHer to sooth newbie’s fears. Here’s my non-contribution to this literary tradition:

Forget all the soothing internet back-patting that’s going on: you are right to freak out. It will probably be overwhelming. But it will also be fine, and you will be excited to come back again. And again. And again.

My first BlogHer conference was in San Jose in 2006. Before I went, I feared that I would wind up in a corner eating cheese by myself. (This is what happens to me at pretty much every conference I go to, so I didn’t think that BlogHer would be different.) And that’s almost exactly what happened, except I didn’t eat cheese in the corner by myself. I ate cookies. Lots of cookies. I also spoke to some cool people, and I met my blog heroine, Suebob. Suebob even went out to dinner with me, off-site. I was sure after that she would never want to talk to me again, but not only did we keep in touch and hang out at subsequent conferences, I even visited her at her lovely home, and we shall be roommates at the conference this summer. See? It all worked out. (And what did I wear? I think I wore a different pro-choice t-shirt every day. I had a reason, but I can’t remember it. I also wore jeans and some weird gym shoes that were supposed to help work out my legs.)

In 2007, my several friends joined me at the Chicago conference. Just knowing that Count Mockula, Alex Elliot, and Super Des were there, and thus I would not eat cheese (or cookies) by myself in a corner, made me more confident and relaxed. As I result, I talked to more people. This was good. (And what did I wear? I can’t remember. Probably jeans and t-shirts. During the ice breaker, some idiot bitch asked me if I was a lesbian, and when I said no, she sneered at me and pointed to my CUSS logo shirt and said that I “project” lesbian. Whatver.)

The following year, Count Mockula had a baby (totally awesome) and didn’t come to the conference in San Francisco. Des did not attend, either. Alex and I roomed together again, and I spent the entire conference hanging out in the bookstore, chatting various people up, except for the session I attended on not having children. Maybe I went to another session or two involving other things, and I attempted to attend one of the infamous swag parties, but fled the noise and crowds promptly. The important part is that I had oodles of fun, and I got to sign my book, which rocked. (And what did I wear? More t-shirts and jeans, although I gussied up a bit for the book signing and wore a silk-y shirt with jeans.)

Now we are back to my hometown this year. Alex can’t attend, but I shall be rooming with Mar, a newbie, and the aforementioned goddess Suebob. I will attend parties and a session or two and hang out. I will eat unhealthy foods, possibly by myself, but more likely with others because I’ve done this before and I know more people. I will do another book signing (this time, during Friday’s cocktail reception) and have lots of fun. Yay!
(And what will I wear? Yes, t-shirts and jeans…)

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>My Lecture Tonight on Urban Travel

June 2nd, 2009 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>Adult Education is a Brooklyn-based monthly event series where various speakers present brief, multimedia lectures on a shared theme. Tonight’s theme is Urban Travel, and I will be sharing some of the “treasures” one can find by taking a subway roadtrip with the A train. The podium will be graced with three other esteemed speakers discussing subway map design, subway sketch art, and people who refuse to vacate seats specifically designated for people with disabilities when a person who has a visible disability enters the train. (Part of me has extra love for the last one because the blog URL is so long: www.peoplewhositinthedisabilityseatswhenimstandingonmycrutches.com.)

Time Out New York selected the lecture to highlight on their Own This City blog, so you know it will be good. Plus, it is only $5. Bargains like this are hard to come by!

I’ll have copies of Off the Beaten (Subway) Track available for $15. (That’s a whopping $1.95 off the cover price!)

Critical Info:
Union Hall
702 Union St (between Fifth and Sixth Ave)
Park Slope, Brooklyn
718-638-4400

Closest subway: M, R to Union St
For other directions: http://www.unionhallny.com

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>On the Radio, Part II

March 24th, 2009 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in random

>I think I have a voice for silent movies, but whatever – I was very excited to do my first live radio interview yesterday! In the event that anyone has a fleeting interest in foreclosure prevention and New York City, I think this is the link to the podcast. I come on halfway through the two hour program, and my colleague and I engage in conversation for 50 minutes.

When I entered the studio and saw the microphones and headsets, I thought I might throw up. My heart battered my rib cage. Fortunately, the host was an excellent facilitator with great questions, and my colleague was a pro at live shows. I quickly relaxed and had fun. I like radio better than TV (not that I’ve been on TV), as I did not have to worry about how my hair appeared.

Of course, the first person to call into the show was a raving lunatic conspiracy theorist type. Somehow, that struck me as appropriate. The rest of the show was great, and afterward, the host invited me to come back and talk about my book! Very exciting!

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>As Seen on TV

November 21st, 2008 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>The phone rang at ten to midnight. When the answering machine picked up before I did, my mom’s voice filled the living room.

“Nothing to worry about. But I was excited and wanted to tell you…”

I picked up the phone and cut her off. “Hi. What’s up?”

“Oh, your dad and I were watching some weird channel on cable that plays home videos. The one on TV was of the hot dog eating contest, and we saw Scott [brother-in-law] and then we saw you!”

“That must be the South Street Seaport qualifying round in 2005,” I laughed. I’m sure this was extra exciting to watch on their new-ish flat panel TV. I ate 6.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes, earning me the unofficial title of Best Female Eater in the South Street Seaport Qualifying Round. (The only other woman, a bailiff, could only choke down five hot dogs.) More impressive, I stood next to Eric “Badlands” Booker, a champion eater who sprayed me with bits of wet bun as he consumed his winning quantity of food. If it played in HD, I bet they would have seen that.

My mom told me that the voice over gave all of the non-famous eaters fake names. I was named as June, but I forgot the fake last name. I also forgot the name given to Scott, but he was described as “Blah Blah, a future shingles sufferer,” which I found odd and creepy.

The funny thing is that this is not the first time I have been randomly spotted on TV eating hot dogs. The same summer I entered the South Street Seaport contest, I also ate at the West (East?) Hartford, CT qualifier. MTV used that event as part of their documentary, “Real Life: I’m a Competitive Eater.” Since I stood near celebrity eater Tim “Eater X” Janus, I made it into the show.

I “retired” from competitive eating attempts that same summer. It seems that my method of eating, which I called the rabbit method because it involved constant nibbling down of food, was not only ineffective, but that the absolute elastic capacity of my stomach is 6.5 hot dogs. While I managed to consume Sno Caps after the Connecticut attempt, I did not do so well after the Seaport, and decided that it was not worth branching out into other foods. Since the party’s over for me, it’s nice to know that both of my attempts to break into competitive eating are well documented, even if not in my own name.

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>On the Radio

August 12th, 2008 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>Thanks to a friend, a producer from WNYC, the NPR affiliate in New York, contacted me about doing a taped segment for Weekend Edition Saturday! I met him today on the L train, and we talked about the many cool things that there are to do in New York in August. As soon as it airs, I’ll link to the podcast. I’m pretty much jumping up and down and squealing as I type this, but I promise I was (slightly) more articulate when we rode the train with a camp group from Williamsburg. It was fun! I hope I get more opportunities like this.

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>The Party’s Over!

August 10th, 2008 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>The release party for my first book, Off the Beaten (Subway) Track, was yesterday. I loved having people from various parts of my life at the event. There were friends from junior high, friends from high school, friends from college, friends from my public policy grad program, friends from my book club, friends from various former jobs, friends from my writing group, friends from the writing class I took this summer, friends of friends, family, and family of friends. (Whew!) I missed my friends from blogging who live around the country and could not make it. If only I could have set up a virtual book party, that would’ve rocked!

The party was a lot like a wedding: I didn’t get to eat anything (for the most part), I didn’t get to talk to everyone, and it was over in what felt like five minutes. I had a great time, and I think that everyone else did, too. I posted some pictures from the party at my flickr account. Now, the real work begins: promoting the book!

My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, and bubbe came in for the party earlier last week. (Very regretfully, Granny didn’t feel well enough to travel. Her presence was enormously missed.) Overall, it was an overwhelming and exhausting week of fun. My family departed this afternoon, which is always hard for me. I don’t get to see them enough, especially my sister. I was a bit blue this afternoon now that it is all over. It’s always for me after an event that I’ve looked forward to for a long time passes. I’ll just have to keep extra busy this week.

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>In Which I Spazz Out

February 21st, 2008 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in I am a bad person sometimes

>There is both a lot going on here and nothing at all going on here. That combination drives me up the wall, stresses me out, and makes me extra bitchy to my parents, who I yelled at on the phone last night for no reason. (Honestly, I do not know why they put up with my crabby insolence.) Of course I felt horrible about it the second I hung up (as I do every time this happens), but I had a sinus headache and didn’t feel like calling them back to apologize. Instead, I sat around feeling like an asshole and wondering why I can’t be nicer to my parents, which made my headache worse.

The problem is that my work life is very uneven. I’ve got nothing to do for stretches of time, and then I suddenly have tons of jobs that need to be done in a short time. For example, on Tuesday I had lunch with a friend/colleague, then got better fitting bras. Wednesday was spent freaking out while perusing various blogs about MFA acceptances, then attending a bris. I played a lot of fake Scrabble on Facebook on both days, and also applied for some part-time jobs.

Last night I got a frantic call around 9 pm from the woman organizing the program that I touch in about things I should bring to my class this morning. Why people can’t get their shit together in a timely fashion is beyond me. My class today, as it was last week and the Thursday prior to that, is from 9 am – 12:30 pm, which is a loooooong time to talk about budgeting. I’ll drop off my headshots and “resume” to the agency, finally. (Since it was not ready before, I’ve made no progress with my quest to be a dead body on Law & Order. Hopefully submitting my materials will change that.) Then I have a meeting at 4:30 pm to talk about another round of training. Tomorrow, I’m meeting a friend/colleague for lunch to discuss a new consulting project that I hope will not pan out because it sucks, and then running over to my consulting gig to finally wrap that shit up since people finally decided to comply with my requests for information.

Next week? Nada. I am very much looking forward to meeting Mar on Tuesday and showing her and her mum around the city a bit. So, long story short, I am stressed and spazzing out.

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>Oh, the Glamor

February 13th, 2008 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>My plan to get work as a dead body on Law & Order was temporarily set aside last week when I got a consulting job and also began teaching a course at the city university. I finally picked up my headshots on Thursday afternoon. I’ve never liked looking at pictures of myself, so I actually dreaded getting them. At the photographer’s studio, I was given an envelope with a CD-ROM of all 36 pictures, an 8×10 sheet with all 36 pictures printed on them, and an 8×10 headshot which was selected for me as the best. This is it. It’s not bad, although it does crack me up that my right eyebrow is a bushy mess. I’m probably the only woman who walked into that studio without getting her eyebrows waxed or threaded first. Shapely eyebrows are an obsession here.

The next step in the process is to bring ten copies of my headshot to the agency with a copy of my “acting resume” stapled onto the back of each one. I worked on my “acting resume” on Monday during my Amtrak ride from Sacramento to Richmond. It consists of the agency contact information; my name; my contact information; my height, weight, eye color, hair color, and clothing sizes; a list of skills that I have (like ice skating); and my education. Not it does not include any experience section, as I have none. I like the fact that my skills might enable me to play an ice skater in the background of a movie before I work my way up to dead body.

I’ll probably drop the CD off at a photo shop this afternoon and hopefully take the materials in to the agency on Friday. Then I’m back to sitting around and waiting for calls to work. Sort of like with my quest for regular jobs, but this time also based on my looks. Fantastic.

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>Working for a Living*

January 30th, 2008 by Suzanne | 1 Comment | Filed in hilarity, random

>Since I quit my job in October 2006, I’ve been pretty busy with all the projects that I cobbled together. I consulted for several different agencies, including a big half year project for a city agency; I freelance wrote and my work appeared in several magazines; I sent out proposals for my book on unusual things to see and do in New York; and most importantly, I got a publishing contract for the book and finished writing it. These days, however, the work is drying up. I decided that I needed a consistent part-time job around which to anchor any new projects. (Plus, a part-time job would be good in the event that I am admitted to an MFA writing program in the fall…)

Last week, I had what seemed to be a fantastic interview. The salary sucked, but I liked the program enough to overlook it. I was feeling optimistic until yesterday at 5:00, when I received an abrupt email informing me that they are unable to offer me “a position at this time.” As I left the interview, they told me they would call me back for a follow up with the agency poohbah, so I wonder what happened. I’m not gonna lie – I’m disappointed.

However, when one door closes, there’s always a window to jump through in the event of a fire. Yesterday morning, I threw caution to the wind and gave in to the daily ad I saw on Craig’s List for “PAID EXTRAS, TV & MOVIES, NO FEE, NO EXP, LICENSED AGENCY.” I figured it was a crock of shit, but why not go to their open interview for kicks? I even gussied myself up with some make-up for it.

The whole “interview” took 42 seconds. A nice young woman called me into an office, asked me what I did (“I’m a public policy consultant,” I told her. “Wow, that must be gratifying!” she replied. “Not really,” I said cheerfully. “It’s generally horribly frustrating.”), then requested that I read a paragraph.

“Do you have acting experience?” she pleasantly asked me when I finished.

“Obviously not,” I wanted to reply, but instead said, “Uhhhh… no.”

“Well, that was very good,” she said, and handed me a card. “Call this guy back tomorrow.”

Long story medium, I called back before I began teaching a class on budgeting this morning, and was shocked that they asked me to come back with some headshots. My big hope here is that I can be cast as a dead body on one of the Law & Order series that are always taping around Manhattan. I’m practicing my “dead” look, just in case.

This is totally hilarious. I’m very curious to see what happens next, although I figure once my headshot is done (which I plan to use for my writing “career,” too), there will be limited opportunities for a short, average weight, tired-looking Jewish hag. Still, the story I’ve gotten out of it so far is pretty good, so what’s there to lose but my dignity and last remaining shreds of self-esteem?

*Sorry. I hope that you don’t have the Huey Lewis and the New song stuck in your head now as I do.

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