Archive for the ‘fashion Suzanne-style’ Category

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Vitamin D Validates My Hatred of Sunscreen

August 15th, 2010 by Suzanne | 6 Comments | Filed in fashion Suzanne-style, I am a bad person sometimes

Earlier this summer, a new study on Vitamin D deficiencies in Americans concluded that we should stop wearing so much sunscreen. After all the proselytizing about the dangers of skin cancer that had rained down on our ears for all these years, many people freaked out. I read the news, yawned, and moved on with my day. OK, maybe I gloated a little bit before I moved on.

I never wear sunscreen. I hate the way it feels on my skin, particularly my face. The lotions and sprays choke my pores and make my sweat greasy. I prefer to wear a ridiculous hat to protect my face and my neck when necessary. Usually I’m not out in a strong enough sun for long enough that the “when necessary” clause is applicable.

Many moons ago, as I discussed my family’s medical history with a doctor, she recommended that I take calcium pills in addition to eating calcium-rich foods. Since calcium is not absorbed without vitamin D, she told me to be sure to get some sunlight. “Just 15 minutes a day is more than enough,” she told me. I don’t always make that minimal amount, especially in winter, but as I walk about the city in my daily activities, it pleases me that my walks have a double bottom line.

Friends pleaded with me or scolded me about my lack of SPF. As a super whitey, I should worry about wrinkles and skin cancer. I agree that if I’m sitting out in the park for hours on end in the sun that I should slather myself up. Some bad burns have reminded me that, yeah, it is necessary to use sunscreen at times. But if I’m just running here and there, in and out of shelters and shade, it seems like overkill.

If I’m wrong, I’ll get skin cancer at worst (which is very bad) or at best be a shriveled, wrinkled prune by the time I’m 40 (at least I might fool people into thinking I’m wise or giving me senior citizen discounts). My bones will be strong, though, because I love my vitamin D and hate sunscreen.

Thanks to The Gap, I’ll Not Be Slovenly

July 30th, 2010 by Suzanne | 2 Comments | Filed in fashion Suzanne-style

princess nightgown 1984Ah, July 1984. I was eight years old and the worst injustices I faced were being forced to go to bed or not watch TV. My heart had not yet been broken when this photo was taken (a few months later, the Cubs would go on to lose to the Padres in the playoffs, which is then when I realized that life is just a series of disappointments), and I had another year or so to go before puberty destroyed my cute little face, fit body, and sleek hair.

But I digress, as this post is about fashion. The nightgown in this picture was my Princess Nightgown. I loved it. The silky nylon fabric made me feel very glamorous. I was sure that whatever boy I had an innocent crush on (and I’ll be damned if I can remember who that was) would want to kiss me if I could wear it out in public.

These days, I don’t wear fancy nightgowns to bed and I can barely be bothered to dress up during the day. So I was pleasantly surprised when The Gap offered to outfit me so that I would look nice for my panel discussion on how blogging improved my writing, followed by a signing of my book Off the Beaten (Subway) Track at the BlogHer conference next weekend. My as yet unlaid plans likely included jeans and maybe a nice shirt.

This type of offer never comes my way (strange that no one wants me to write about their items on a blog that includes the words “unshaved snatch” in the title – you’d think the sponsors would be all over me like wax in a salon), so I was very excited. I hopped over to The Gap today after work and was met by an amazing stylist. She brought all sorts of outfits to me, most of which I would never have thought to try. Although I had some challenges with tops (I have almost no torso and large hips), Betty worked with me and I am pleased to say that she got me looking super adorable. Maybe not as adorable as I did in 1984, but enough to make me feel better about the poundage I’ve packed on in the last year. The Gap Magic pants sort of live up to the name. I seriously cannot wait to show off my duds next weekend.

The Suitcase

July 26th, 2010 by Suzanne | 2 Comments | Filed in fashion Suzanne-style, fun trips, hilarity

Husband and I went to Pennsylvania to celebrate Steph’s 35th birthday on Saturday night. The plan was to stay overnight in the area, then the three of us would drive over to the first birthday party of the son of our friend (and talented artist) on Sunday afternoon. After gorging ourselves on fondue, we went to put our bags in Steph’s trunk. When she opened it, I saw a full size suitcase with the lid propped open.

“Uh, is that suitcase filled with underwear?” I asked. (I had to be sure – what if I ate too much and the cheese was obscuring my vision? )

“Of course,” Steph said. “I did my laundry at my parents’ house and it wasn’t dry before I left,* so my mom told me that it would dry in the trunk because it is so hot out.”

Of course! Why had that not occurred to me? Who doesn’t have enough underwear to fill an entire suitcase?

*Note that she was 20 minutes late to her own birthday dinner.

Finance Guru at the Salon

July 15th, 2010 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in bad puns, fashion Suzanne-style

Husband: What time is your hair appointment tonight?

Me: 8:45.

Husband: OK.

Me: I wish this was a financial haircut, although I forgot what that is exactly. Some sort of discount, right?

Husband: A financial haircut usually refers to a creditor taking less than the amount owed on debt.

That’s what I’m talking about. Later I felt smug because I knew that a guaranty on a loan (when someone else pledges to repay at least a portion of the debt if the borrow defaults) is spelled with a “y,” not “ee.”

My actual haircut turned out beautifully. I have at least 10% less than what I used to.

Montreal: Home of the “Couche-Tard” and Ghost Squirrel

July 8th, 2010 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in fashion Suzanne-style, fun trips, hilarity, I am a bad person sometimes

"Grand Prix" room at the W Hotel
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Goofing off in the “grand prix” room at the W Hotel.

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I have no idea why I randomly put on lip gloss, but it is glamorous.

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Poutine. Not such a fan.

I thought Couche Tard meant "retarded owl" but it means night owl...
“Couche-tard” does not mean “retarded owl.” I thought that the people of Montreal were fond of animals with special needs, as this winking owl appeared on several convenience store frontages. Turns out it is a “night owl” indicating that they are open late.

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We saw this rabbit as we walked up Mont Royal. I’m sure he was a house rabbit that someone abandoned, which made me sad. He was too unafraid of people and too large to be wild. Also, he looks like a Dutch rabbit, which is bred. I hope he’ll be OK.

The Ghost Squirrel of Montreal
This albino squirrel kind of freaks me out. He may be the legendary Ghost Squirrel of Montreal.

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Delicious chocolate chip bagel from Fairmount Bagels.

I saw this awesome graffiti in a few places
I saw this fun graffiti in a few places.

Good times!

Sari and Make-Up

June 10th, 2010 by Suzanne | 1 Comment | Filed in bad puns, fashion Suzanne-style, those were the days

suzanne in sariThis picture is from Dr. H’s sister’s wedding, which I think was in 1998 or 1999. I was in my early 20s. Damn, I look young and innocent.

The sari is my all time favorite outfit that I ever wore to a wedding, and one of my favorites in general. I felt so glamorous in all that purple embroidery wrapped around me. Maybe it also has to do with the make-up, which I never wear.* The photo makes me want to grow my hair back to medium length – although I know I will be sari. (Oh, ho ho ho! That is my worst pun ever!)

*I recently explained to my friend that by not wearing make-up now, I eliminate the risk that I will look like a Halloween mask when I am a truly old hag because I won’t wear make-up then, either. We debated whether these older women who wear 14 pounds of lipstick and rouge do so because they can’t see how much they have on, or if they just try to make themselves up like they did when they were young and make-up was different. What has annoyed me most about the whole Helen Thomas thing is the number of comments on I saw on posts that discussed how her ugly, overdone face indicates that she’s also ugly inside or gives children nightmares. While I agree that she is scary looking with all that horror clown make-up, what she looks like has nothing to do with why she made her ignorant comments. I doubt that a man who made a similarly obnoxious comment would be judged to have done so because he had a bad comb over.

Happy First Birthday to My Nephew

April 29th, 2010 by Suzanne | 3 Comments | Filed in fashion Suzanne-style, hilarity, Jewishness, oh happy day

One year ago today, I urgently needed a haircut and worked at a fucked up organization. My sister’s water broke that morning, and by 10 pm, I became Tante Suzanne. I ran out to Iowa, looked like a maniac in all the pictures with the baby (see example below), and then quit my job upon my return to New York. A few things will be different this time. Tomorrow I’m going to my parents’ house to celebrate the little goober’s first birthday, but I am getting a haircut tonight so that I don’t look like a maniac in all the pictures with the baby. I will also not quit my job upon my return to New York, or at least I am not planning to do so. Yes, so much has changed in a year!

story time
The first story I read to Marcus was how Moses neglected to circumcise his son, so his wife Zipporah took matters into her own hands and then bitterly flung the foreskin into Moses’s face. He didn’t like the story very much. I’m still not sure why – maybe he was too young to appreciate it? Perhaps I will try to re-read it when I see him this weekend.

Whenever I think about Marcus, I cannot stop smiling. I can’t wait to see him. My parents said he’s a little mazik, which is Yiddish for “troublemaker who gets into everything.” Happy birthday, kiddo!

Surprises

April 22nd, 2010 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in fashion Suzanne-style, random

A few weeks ago, I secured a pair of purple Mary Janes from Lands’ End online for only $10. When they arrived, I thought they were a little tight. The return postage was $7, so it struck me as silly to send them back. Somehow, they wound up under my desk at work, where I tried to give them to colleagues but no one wanted them. (I am not sure if the rejection was because they are a small size or because the shoes are sort of ugly, albeit in a way I find cool.)

My initial plan for this evening did not include walking home, as it was supposed to rain, so I wore another pair of semi-ill fitting shoes that I purchased for under $20. (These were from the army-navy surplus store on Belmont Ave in Chicago.) When it didn’t rain and I decided to walk, I worried that my shoes would turn my heels into bloody stumps, as they’ve done before. Obviously, the solution was to wear the other pair of shoes that did not fit well and switch off during the walk. Right.

I recognized that this was a stupid solution, but adopted it anyway. I slipped on the purple shoes. They were tight, but also seemed to stretch a bit as I trekked home. Turns out that they are pretty comfy. Who knew? I thought I would have a little lesson about how people shouldn’t walk three miles in shoes that don’t fit when they have unlimited subway passes at their disposal, but what I learned is you never know. Try it. You might like it.

Professional

April 13th, 2010 by Suzanne | 3 Comments | Filed in fashion Suzanne-style, I am a bad person sometimes

Yeah, this is what I wore to work today:

pink fluevogs

The tights are Lands’ End girls’ size 14 plus. (It might not be clear, but the pattern is horses and little pink hearts.) They were only $3. Damn, I love them, and I love my pink boots.

What? Huh?

April 6th, 2010 by Suzanne | 2 Comments | Filed in fashion Suzanne-style, hilarity

Husband returned from a short vacation (his first since July, poor guy) in LA last night. Since it was almost midnight, I did not expect him to notice my new purple hair. I did find it funny, however, when he brought the old dark towel out of the bathroom and asked if someone stayed over while he was gone.

“No, no,” I said, sounding like I was hiding something. “I used it.”

“Why?”

“Oh, I didn’t want to stain the new towels.”

Now, that should have raised suspicion as to either who the fuck I had over while he was away or what was wrong with me that I might “stain” a towel. I think he was afraid I might start talking about my period and he wanted to go to bed. This also makes me laugh.

From this point on, the countdown until Husband notices my purple hair commences.

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