Archive for the ‘bad puns’ Category

Seasons

August 16th, 2010 by Suzanne | 2 Comments | Filed in bad puns, family, fun trips

The Mets have not even finished their season of implosion and stupidity and evil (i.e. – their closer, K-Rod, injured his thumb while punching his girlfriend’s father), it is hot and humid, and yet football is on TV. I suppose it is good that Husband can distract himself from the Mets with the Giants. As for me, I am disappointed that this is the second summer in a row that I have not gone to a baseball game.

At any rate, although there are two weeks of August left (fall for me starts on Sept. 1, calendar be damned), I am not entirely sorry it is over. I can’t complain about it too much. I traveled to Poland with my friend in June, I celebrated ten years of marriage with Husband in Montreal in July, and I relaxed with friends and family at a house in upstate New York in August. Plus there were the highs and lows of BlogHer 2010. I think that encapsulates this summer, though: really great times and some unpleasant lows in between.

The fall, which I hope like hell will not be an Indian summer, promises many exciting things. I will see my sister and nephew in early Sept., then later in the month jet off for a long weekend in Dublin to visit my cousin, who I have not seen in a year, which is wrong, wrong, wrong. I’m planning to visit my parents and grandmothers some time in Oct.

If all goes well, I’ll also get some stability in my “professional” life. I am still figuring out what I want to do when I grow up. It’s been a painful process. Not as painful as the punch K-Rod threw on his girlfriend’s father, but as painful as watching a Mets game these days.

Finance Guru at the Salon

July 15th, 2010 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in bad puns, fashion Suzanne-style

Husband: What time is your hair appointment tonight?

Me: 8:45.

Husband: OK.

Me: I wish this was a financial haircut, although I forgot what that is exactly. Some sort of discount, right?

Husband: A financial haircut usually refers to a creditor taking less than the amount owed on debt.

That’s what I’m talking about. Later I felt smug because I knew that a guaranty on a loan (when someone else pledges to repay at least a portion of the debt if the borrow defaults) is spelled with a “y,” not “ee.”

My actual haircut turned out beautifully. I have at least 10% less than what I used to.

Sari and Make-Up

June 10th, 2010 by Suzanne | 1 Comment | Filed in bad puns, fashion Suzanne-style, those were the days

suzanne in sariThis picture is from Dr. H’s sister’s wedding, which I think was in 1998 or 1999. I was in my early 20s. Damn, I look young and innocent.

The sari is my all time favorite outfit that I ever wore to a wedding, and one of my favorites in general. I felt so glamorous in all that purple embroidery wrapped around me. Maybe it also has to do with the make-up, which I never wear.* The photo makes me want to grow my hair back to medium length – although I know I will be sari. (Oh, ho ho ho! That is my worst pun ever!)

*I recently explained to my friend that by not wearing make-up now, I eliminate the risk that I will look like a Halloween mask when I am a truly old hag because I won’t wear make-up then, either. We debated whether these older women who wear 14 pounds of lipstick and rouge do so because they can’t see how much they have on, or if they just try to make themselves up like they did when they were young and make-up was different. What has annoyed me most about the whole Helen Thomas thing is the number of comments on I saw on posts that discussed how her ugly, overdone face indicates that she’s also ugly inside or gives children nightmares. While I agree that she is scary looking with all that horror clown make-up, what she looks like has nothing to do with why she made her ignorant comments. I doubt that a man who made a similarly obnoxious comment would be judged to have done so because he had a bad comb over.