Yarn. Vagina. No.

December 1st, 2013 by Suzanne | Filed under mortification, unshaved snatch.

My friend Nancy sent me a link to a post about a woman in Australia who is shoving yarn up her vagina and knitting a scarf from it. I watched the video. I was mostly grossed out by it.

Yarn seems like a horrible thing to shove into a vagina (or any body cavity for that matter). It’s not even the part about getting her period on the yarn that bothers me most, although bloody yarn also seems icky, no matter what the blood source is. No. What I keep fixating on all the flyaway threats that come off various yarns and how she is going to get an infection. Seriously, how is that not going to happen? Whenever I wear a scarf, there is always some sort of fluffy cast off. I am worried for this woman’s health.

Why, people? Why must we engage in creepy weird projects to in some convoluted effort to make vulvas “not scary?” Because I actually think that shoving things up your cooter to show that it is not scary is, in fact, pretty scary. We don’t seem to do this with other body parts. Eye sockets, for example, are a little creepy. I don’t (fortunately) see people randomly insert things into their eye sockets in some effort to make them less ooky.

On the flip side, I thought I caught a glimpse of some pubic hair, so good for her for keeping the natural wool while utilizing other wool for her scarf. But still. I think this definitely ranks as a don’t-try-this-at-home idea. *shudder*

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6 Responses to “Yarn. Vagina. No.”

  1. mar says:

    There just are no words for this.
    Thanks now that is in my head.

  2. Suzanne says:

    Sorry. I just report the news.

  3. other mar, apparently says:

    I guess another mar got in before I did!
    And that is definitely not how I knit, nor would I ever, despite jokes about spinning leg/armpit hair.

  4. Shonda says:

    I made myself blog today and then was going through my blog roll, which I haven’t done in years. What a delight it was to see such a recent blog from you and that it was about snatch scarfs! Maybe you can track this lady down and interview her. I would love to hear the logic that created this.

  5. Suzanne says:

    Yay blogging! As you can see, I am not doing it so frequently myself. Glad that you caught me at a good time.

  6. Suzanne says:

    OMG. That cracks me up, as I totally thought the previous mar was you. I love your jokes about spinning hair. That is hilarious.

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