I love the f word, and I don't mean feminism, although I love that, too. It's so fucking versatile. I can use it as a verb, as in, "Fuck off." I can use it as a noun, as in, "Fuck off, you stupid fuck." I can use it as an adjective, as in "Fuck off, you fucking stupid fuck." I can try to use it as an adverb, as in, "Fuckingly fuck off, you fucking stupid fuck," but it doesn't work quite as well. Still, it's fun to try. I'm fairly certain that I use the f word about as often as I use the word "the." When I'm super happy, I love swearing. When I'm super angry, I blow off steam by swearing. My current colleagues think this is hilarious, which was pretty much the reaction of all of my various co-workers from every place I've ever worked, because I look like a very nice, sweet, mild person. Then I open my mouth, and the image goes to fucking shit.

My writing used to contain a lot of swearing. This was, I thought (and still often do), the crux of my ability to be hilarious. What's really interesting, though, is that I haven't used blue language at all in the book that I am writing. I'm sure it will get salty near the end, when the main character's granddaughter is a teenager, but maybe not. Maybe I can write an entire document without indulging my love for the f bomb. If it works out well, then great. If not, well, fuck that.

*I have a sneaking suspicion that I have written something like this before, but I was thinking about it today and so if it is redundant, well, that's where I am at in life right now.