The good news is that the refrigerator has been cleaned for the first time in five or six years. That's always positive. The bad news is that it required an immediate wipe down because a can of Coke Zero had been pushed to the back of the refrigerator where some sort of coolant runs to the freezer. Things back there have a tendency to freeze. Things that freeze have a tendency to expand. Things that expand have a tendency to grow beyond the size of their containers. Thus, science ran its course and the can burst. I didn't realize this at first. When I opened the refrigerator door to put away some groceries, I stood for a few seconds in confusion. Why was there brown liquid on the solid bottom shelf? My eyes traveled up. Brown droplets dotted various packages of food. "What the fuck?" I articulately muttered. Quick to accuse, I blamed the mess on a Snapple iced tea bottle, thinking it must have a crack in the glass, but when I picked it up, it was intact and dry.
What I really wanted to do when I got home was to throw the groceries in the refrigerator and then run in Central Park while it was still warm-ish and light out. What I did instead was take out every item in the refrigerator and inspect it. Items on the left side were soaked or sprayed. Items on the right were dry. As the refrigerator became an empty shell of (mostly) white plastic, I spotted the deformed can of Coke Zero.
Thirty minutes after the initial discovery of the natural semi-disaster, the fridge was cleaned, its contents wiped off, and everything was back in its rightful place (except a vat of hummus, which I discovered in the dish bin two hours later). It was later in the afternoon, but I had enough light left in the day for my long run. All's well that ends well.