President Lyndon B. Johnson was such an asshole that he held meetings in his bathroom. While he was on the toilet. Aides had to stand around and speak to him with he took a shit. I suppose he thought he was royalty. I've always been fascinated by this fact, partly because I am known to talk on the phone while perched on the porcelain throne. I won't do it if things will be, uh, too noisy, but a little tinkle or squeeze never hurt anyone. The giveaway is when I flush, so I try to hold off on that until the discussion is over. I'm no LBJ.

I realized this afternoon that my dad is no LBJ, either. We both sat with our laptops at the dining room table this afternoon, working away. Then he received a business call on his mobile phone, stood up from the table, and walked upstairs. At first I thought he took the call into another room so as not to bother me, which was very nice.

However, as he chatted (I could still hear him), I noticed that the bathroom door was closed. He spoke for a while, then it was quiet. More quiet ensued. Then, a flush, the sound of the sink, and the door swung open. My dad sauntered out, cell phone in hand.

I'm a chip off the old block. (And another sign that he is no LBJ: I was not named Bird or given my father's initials.) My mom and sister,* by the way, are known to indulge in the practice bathroom talk as well.

*Happy 31st birthday, Dana!!! I love talking to you while you drive and/or are on the toilet.

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