Fat Lot of Good This Is

I photographed this informative sign in the women’s bathroom in the baggage claim area in LaGuardia Airport. It was posted over the hand drier. (In case it is not clear, it alerts people that feminine products may be purchased at Hudson Newsstands located in the main terminal and other parts of the airport.)

Now, if I am in need of said feminine product, and I had already gone to the bathroom and washed my hands, is this not a little late to inform me that I will have to troop around the airport to purchase something to staunch my bleeding? What is even better is that most of the Hudson Newsstands are post-security, and if you are looking at this sign, you are pre-security. (There is one in the food court, which was closed when my late flight arrived, as, actually, were the Hudson Newsstands by the gate.) In fact, you likely are not going back through security because you just got off a plane or are waiting to meet someone who just got off a plane and therefore you do not have a ticket that would allow you to pass security to go buy your damn feminine product.

So, in fact, what this sign should say is, “There is pretty much nowhere you can buy a feminine product, so please go back into the stall and stuff your underwear with toilet paper if you don’t want to stain them because that is the best you can do since we are asshole idiots.” How much do I love the Port Authority of NY & NJ (which run the NYC airports) for their great services? Perhaps this would be a good time to reflect on the lovely bathrooms at O’Hare, which not only have feminine product dispensers, but those cool plastic toilet seat covers attached to a machine that changes the covers if you wave your hand over the sensor so you can sit your ass down on a fresh, clean seat. Chicago, 1; New York, 0.

Tags: airport bathroom, feminine product dispensers, laguardia airport, port authority of new york and new jersey