Like an episode of Sesame Street, this post is sponsored by a letter of the alphabet. Today I will discuss how three words beginning with G have surfaced prominently in my daily life of late. Unlike Sesame Street, this post will be self-centered and not educational. Green-eyed monsterdom (OK, this is a stretch, but jealousy does not begin with a G and I picked a theme and I'm making it work) has plagued me recently. The last two times I was at the gym, I overheard other women talking about interviews they had coming up that afternoon. I was overcome by jealousy. Interviews! I want interviews! I do not regret my decision to leave my last place of regular employment and do consulting work (including for my last place of regular employment), but I like regular, full-time work. The schedule is good for me, and I miss the engagement on social issues. The worst part is that I feel like I don't have a right to be jealous, as I have time to work on my book, and most writers would kill to have an opportunity like this, which leads me to...

Guilt. Ah, guilt. I feel guilty about not having a regular full-time job and contributing to the household income. I like feeling productive and useful, and getting paid for work, like it or not, is a big part of that feeling for me. I feel guilty about going to the gym at 9 am, even though I think it makes my writing better because I get the juices flowing. I feel guilty about my horrible new gym-related expensive habit, personal training. This super slow training is divine, and I can see how much impact it has had on my muscles, which overall is good for my health, so I should not feel guilty about taking care of my body, like going to a doctor, right? But then I remember that I don't really earn enough money now to pay for it and my other hobbies and the guilt creeps in. I could cut my other hobbies, but the main one is eating, and that's sort of necessary. All of this worry makes me...

Grumpy.

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