Earlier today, my mom, sister, and I argued about the correct words to a novelty song sung to the tune of "Old Smokey." Dana and I thought it began, "On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed." My mother said that it is "On top of a pizza..." She said that was how Dick Biondi, a Chicago DJ, sang it. It turns out that the song was originally re-written by Biondi and the lyrics involved a meatball on pizza. After everyone else left and my parents and I had a late lunch, I noted that this made no sense as a) who puts meatballs on pizza?; b) why would a meatball fall off a pizza, which is a flat surface as opposed to an unstable mountain of spaghetti; and c) people are less likely to sneeze near a pizza as opposed to spaghetti because more people are allergic to pasta. We had a good laugh over c.

My dad, however, became very serious. "Many songs are silly," he said. "I mean, what about that song, 'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini?' That's just stupid. I've never seen a bikini with yellow polka dots! Who ever heard of a bikini with yellow polka dots?" He shook his head. "Really, I've never seen one."