Husband is in Copenhagen for work today. He sent me this photo, which not only illustrates the bad weather he is enduring, but an important concession to public safety that too many other cities neglect:

No sea monster swimming! I am obsessed with sea monsters, so I am very glad to see this sign. The problem with maps today, in fact, is that they no longer chart the dangerous territories controlled by sea monsters. Sure, old maps may not have gotten people where they wanted to go because they were inaccurate in terms of describing land masses, but they showed where the sea monsters patrolled the waters, warning ships. (Plus they also depicted unfortunate vessels tipping over on sudden ginormous waves and angry cloud faces blowing nasty winds. Very important things.)

I tried to revive the tradition of sea monster caution when I was in high school. I was taking AP European history, and one of our first assignments was to draw a map of Europe. What an amazing opportunity! I drew what I thought was a terrifying sea beast in the Atlantic Ocean and handed it in, pleased with myself. When I got my map back, I was happy to have gotten an A on it, but my sea monster did not have the effect I intended. My teacher noted that she liked my “cute” monster. I tried to explain that he wasn’t cute, but very scary. She apologized to me for not understanding, and said upon closer inspection she could see how the monster's whiskers were very scary indeed.

The Vatican Museum, however, has a room chock full of fresco maps with extremely angry sea monsters (scroll down a little to get to the photos - they come after the dickless statue with a nest of pubes and big balls). I am sorry that I could not live up to the excellence of those cartographers, but glad to see that people in Copenhagen understand why sea monsters should not be allowed to swim.