As evidence against me, the prosecutor could presents the following Exhibits: A. I tend to buy a lot of Sudafed 12 Hour. B. My nose appears to be rotting off. C. There is a big zit on my cheek near my mouth. D. My behavior includes the following: bizarre acting, excessively anxious, confused, and unable to sleep.

Taken together, these circumstances indicate that I am probably a use of crystal meth. It could also mean that I have problems with allergies or keep getting colds, have an acne break out, and am generally strange, anxious, spacey, and plagued by insomnia.

Scary how similar the two things are.