While I was at my parents' house this past weekend my mom showed me a box of old papers and photos. We inspected black and white pre-nose job photos (she remains horrified at her former nose but I didn't see why she thought it was that bad), letters she received from an elected official commending her good grades, a scholarship letter from the University of Illinois-Chicago, and a letter she wrote to her parents when she was nine and they went on vacation to Florida. She also had a note card documenting her vaccinations. Dick Test

The second line from the bottom made me giggle. "So, how'd that Dick Test go?" I asked her. "Does it make you immune to dicks?"

She laughed. Unfortunately, the Dick Test has not prevented dicks from bothering her at various points of her life. Perhaps its lack of effectiveness is why they no longer administer it. Certainly my life would be more pleasant if I could make dicks go away from me.

Maybe the dick vaccine worked by preventing a person from becoming a dick. My mom is not a dick, although I can't say that is because she passed the Dick Test. I'm fairly certain that I did not get immunized against dickdom, but sometimes I am a total dick. Again, no conclusive proof either way.

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