I went to buy a salad and Diet Coke for lunch. As I waited to for my order to be rung up, I noticed the muffin display next to the register. One muffin had a little sign identifying it as "Low Fat Zucchini with Cheese." "Hmmm..." I thought. "That might be a good thing to bring with me to the airport later. I should buy one." I turned to the cashier and asked if I could add it to my order.

He took the sign off the muffin, threw it out, and then grabbed the one in front of it to give me. The one that had cinnamon streussel topping. "Um, that's not zucchini," I said.

We then argued over what muffin he was giving me. He insisted that the zucchini muffin with cheese that I pointed to was chocolate. I said it was not, as the sign said it was zucchini and it looked like zucchini with cheese. He said it was chocolate. I finally gave in and accepted what he gave me. As I left, I took a bite. It was cinnamon walnut. I went back into the store.

"This is not what I ordered," I said. "I ordered zucchini."

He and another person behind the counter looked at the muffin where I bit it. Of course, they insisted it was zucchini. I told them it was cinnamon walnut. Then they put it back in the muffin bin.

"YOU CAN'T PUT THAT BACK THERE!!!! I TOUCHED THAT!" I yelled. Other costumers looked at them. The other counterman grabbed it and threw it down (into what a I hope was a trash can) and glared at me.

To end this very long (and horrifying story), I pointed again to the muffin that had been identified by the little sign as zucchini and requested it. The cashier glowered at me, but gave it over. A quick test revealed that it was, in fact, zucchini. As my co-worker later said, from now on, just point at what you want, although I think there is no "from now on" at that place.

As a public service, this interaction took place at the Guy & Gallard on the corner of 29th St and 7th Ave.)