>A few years ago, some credit card company ran an ad on TV which
depicted a woman talking about charging all the items needed to build
a robot. The voice that came out, though, was that of the sleazy guy
who stole her credit card and used it to build a girl robot. The ad
ended with the guy's horny laugh. It cracked my ass up.
I could not help but think of this commercial yesterday. While
running for the bathroom at Home Depot, a guy looking at cardboard
boxes asked me if I could help him. As I wore a black suit, not a
bright orange Home Depot apron, I found that odd. If I didn't get to
the toilet ASAP, I risked shitting myself, but soemthing made me stop
and say, "Sure."
"Well, I'm making a movie with a robot in it," he began, and then I
missed his next few sentences because I could not stop laughing in my
head. Maurice, the hamster who runs the wheel that powers my brain,
fell down in hysterics. I tuned back in to hear the guy say, "...and
I need to know if this cardboard box fits me so it will look good in
the film. If I get in it, can you tell me how I fit?"
"No problem." Somehow, I kept a neutral expression on my face. I
hoped my sphinctor was as strong as I believed it could be. How could
I miss this?
The guy unfolded the box. He stepped in it so that it enclosed his
torso and thighs. Pressing his forearms against the inside of the
box, he held it up around him. "Am I bulging out?"
The box was roomy enough to fit at least one other average sized
person. "Um, no. You have more than enough room. Not even close to
"Hmmm, maybe it's too big." He frowned. "Well, thanks for your help."
"No problem," I called over my shoulder as I galloped toward the
bathroom. Ten mintues later when I emerged from the bathroom ten
pounds lighter (oh, it was a bad, reminding me of the "snake surprise"
scene in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom"), he was no where in
sight. I hoped he was off having fun building his robot. Heh heh.
Sent from my mobile device