>Classes start again on Monday. My goal for the semester is to incorporate metaphors and similes into my writing. I noticed that the writing that we studied in my lit class last semester tended to make liberal use of these literary tools, so I think I should make a strong effort to add more in my stories.

I use metaphors and similes all the time in real life. They just happen to be rather foul. My favorite metaphor was when I described the pieces of toilet paper that resurfaces after flushing the crapper as ghosts haunting their watery graves. I think that is a beautiful image. Also, the idea of romanticizing un-flushed used toilet paper makes me laugh my ass off, like a clown high on nitrous oxide. (OK, that is a scary simile. Clowns are the devils of the circus.) Somehow, though, I suspect that many of the people in my program will find it infantile, so I need to work on developing appropriate metaphors and similes.

Unfortunately, I also love mixed metaphors. That's due to my adoration of hyperbole, another feature of my writing that is less than lauded by literary types. Whatever. If patience is an old lady in a rocking chair waiting for death to relieve her of the excitement of watching paint dry, act like a bull in a china shop. Or something like that.