>I've been meaning to blog about this for ages - and I'm sure I am not the first nor will I be the last - but what the fuck is with those scary Activia commercials? First Jamie Lee tells me that if I want "better digestion," I should eat Activia yogurt. But what is "better digestion?" Does it loosen up a constipated brick or plug up up a leaky diarrhea faucet? Does adding Activia's special cultures to my gut make my farts not smell like a small furry animal crawled up my ass, died, and is decomposing up there? If so, that would be great! (And I'd make Husband eat enormous quantities of Activia...) I need details, people!
However, I suspect that there are no details because no one would eat Activia if they knew exactly how the "better digestion" works. This suspicion is fueled by the terrifying diagram that follows friendly Jamie Lee. A very fit torso appears on screen. Suddenly, little green circles gather excitedly, bumping off each other like some physics experience with atoms flying all over the place. Then, they coalesce into a big green arrow that points down. Well, what might be down there?
That's when it hits me that the ad is suggesting that "better digestion" happens when you shit through your vagina instead of anus. (Why else would the arrow point toward the cooter? It's not like this is some "educational" film for 12 year old girls that hints ever so politely that one day, blood might come out from down there.) If that is the case, I will stay far the fuck away from "better digestion." I've got enough problems without worrying about shit in my cooch. Nasty.