>Here at CUSS, we strive to bring you the hard hitting investigative reporting. Whether exploring the dyfunctional relationship American promotes with working women or understanding douche scents, it's all the news that's fit to print, at least by my standards, anyway. Oddly enough, my standards for news items don't seem to interest a very large audience. Of course, this is because most people aren't very smart or interesting, but that is another story that I often explore under the labels "Asshole idiots" and "What is wrong with people?"

Anyway, the point is that I feel lucky to have found a select group of people with whom I can have good discussions. So imagine my surprise when I read Stephen King's column in last week's Entertainment Weekly and he randomly referred to a blogger who called King a "douchenozzle." The use of the word douchenozzle in a popular national magazine excited and inspired me, as back in October, I deemed it my new favorite insult (sort of - I liked douche pipe, but same thing). I promptly then forgot that it was my new favorite insult, but happily the delightful Count Mockula and this mystery blogger are keeping the term alive. I pledge to follow their shining examples and call asshole idiots douchenozzles rather than the routine douche bag.

Now if I can just remember to also say, "beavers suckle beavers" instead of "fucking shit" or "gee whiz," I will be on my way to implementing a new lingo for myself. Take that, William Safire (retired On Language columnist and conservative douchenozzle)!