Archive for December, 2007

>Happy New Year!

December 31st, 2007 by Suzanne | Comments Off | Filed in random

>Normally, I hate New Year’s Eve. For the past few years, I would feel hope and excitement for what was to come, only to realize that nothing magically changes just because it is a new year. We still had the same buttfuck for a president, I still had the same job, and things just rolled along. Even though I knew that change happens as it comes, not on a schedule, I was still depressed for the first few weeks of January.

Today I am more positive. I know that nothing will be different in the next few hours, but there is so much to look forward to this year. My book will be coming out, I’ll have a new job, and maybe I’ll even be starting an MFA program. A number of my dear friends recently had or are having children in 2008, and it makes me smile to think about being Aunt Suzanne.

This past year brought many excellent developments for me, too. My sister, who had been trying to find a teaching job in Iowa for five years, finally was hired to teach first grade and is thriving. (Even better, kids at a troubled school are lucky enough to have her as their teacher.) Some of my friends had babies, and others became pregnant. My friends who have kids already have wonderful families. Almost my whole family was able to come east and celebrate my brother-in-law’s wedding with my in-law family. I was not only able to see my family in Chicago a few times this year, but I traveled around the world. And, of course, my book about unusual things to see and do in my beloved New York City finally found a publisher after I’d worked on the concept for almost three years. I doubt that 2008 will top any of this, but that’s OK. There’s new and interesting things coming our way.

Here’s to a year free of sea urchins and full of unshaved snatch! (Translation: I hope that everyone has a healthy and happy new year!)

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>Pearl Harbor

December 30th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>It’s foot soaking and reflecting time. We woke up dark and early (the sun doesn’t come up until after 6:30) and headed over to the USS Arizona Memorial. Tickets to the memorial are distributed on a first-come-first-serve basis at 7:30, and it is definitely true that if you snooze, you lose. Husband and I got into a long line at 7:00, reached the ticket counter at 8, and received tickets for the 9:00 AM tour. (By the time we left at 10:30, the day’s tours were fully booked. The last tour, incidentally, is at 3:00.)

Three things really struck me while I was there. First, I was distraught at how the museum glossed over the gross inequities among servicemen. For example, it mentioned a brand new club that military men could enjoy, but neglected to mention that only white servicemen were allowed in, since the military was segregated. As usual, minorities got the shittiest jobs. Also, given the number of Hawaiians and Asians who served, I thought more attention should be paid to how they were discriminated against and even illegally rounded up. It’s always pained me that while some guys – Asian, black, other “non-white” – were off fighting, their families suffered under Jim Crow and in interment camps. I realize that this is not the point of the memorial, but to me, the people who died serving a country that didn’t treat them fairly deserve even more recognition for their sacrifices. (Husband pointed out that the museum is super tiny and they are trying to raise money to expand it, so maybe this will be addressed.)

I was incredibly distressed to learn that the servicemen didn’t have to be caught so unaware by the attack. It seems that two guys monitoring the radar equipment noticed a fleet unexpectedly coming in. They checked and re-checked the equipment to make sure it wasn’t malfunctioning, and when it still showed unexpected activity, they called it in. The guy at the information center was new – it was his first day – and he told them to ignore it. It seems that a delivery of new aircraft were due from California that day, and he assumed that is what was showing up on the radar. As a result, no warning was sounded. Over 2,000 people died. Incidentally, many Hawaiian citizens died that day as well when anti-aircraft shells misfired and fell on Honolulu. The whole thing was a tragedy that maybe could have been less severe if that info center guy took some time to verify what was going on.

On a positive note, my guidebook notes that the Japanese may have been successful in reaching a high death toll and fucking up many ships, but their focus on ships probably ultimately cost them the war. Turns out that a better target would have been the fuel tanks behind the ships and airfields. These tanks powered all of America’s Pacific Fleet. According to the book, “If a single bomb had been dropped on just one of the tanks, it could have set them all ablaze. It would have a taken a year to replace that fuel. A year that our aircraft carriers would have sat idle without any gas. A year that the Japanese Navy would have had free reign.” So at least that was a good outcome from a horrific event.

Overall, despite my nitpicking, the memorial was heart-rending and very emotional. I am so glad that we had the opportunity to see it. The USS Arizona is under 40 feet of water, so only the very tips of the ship are visible. Although it continues to leak oil to this day (some call it the tears of the dead), many beautiful fish were swimming around the gun turrets and other areas, almost in tribute to those who lost their lives. It was hard not to cry thinking about that fateful day.

After the memorial, Husband and I explored a WWII US submarine, the USS Bowfish. The recorded audio tour was done by the men who served on the sub, and hey had great senses of humor. It was a lot of fun. The sub sank over 40 Japanese ships, if I remember correctly. (It was a lot.)

Since we didn’t leave until well after 1 pm, and my foot hurt a little, and we were really hungry, we skipped today’s planned hike up a cliff. We’ll try to do something athletic tomorrow after we take a tour of a former sugar plantation. The tour guides are all former workers, and they discuss what life was like on a plantation from their perspective, so I am very excited for this.

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>The Flying Machine

December 29th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>I was so excited that I hiked up Diamond Head that I completely forgot to mention the flying machine that Husband booked us to ride on Friday. This is the machine and the husband-wife team who took us up (picture from their website, Paradise Air Hawaii):

Seriously, if that is not something drawn up by Leonardo da Vinci in this Codex book thing, I don’t know what is. It was raining a bit, and the air was sort of choppy, so I felt a little green around the gills. Had I barfed in my helmet, I suspected the air flow would have pushed it into my eyes, so I concentrated very hard on not puking, which made my ride a bit less fun. Husband LOVED it, though, which makes me happy. I feel like my injury has ruined the trip a bit (which he denies), so I am very glad that he really enjoyed this activity. Our pilots (Denise and Tom) are aerial stunt people and generally super friendly and awesome, so I recommend checking them out if you go to O’ahu and want to go in a flying machine. Denise offered to let me steer for a while, but I’m not even that keen on driving a car and I was trying not to vomit into my own face, so I politely declined. Husband took the reigns on his flying machine and thought the experience was utterly fantastic.

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>Hang Loose

December 29th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>This morning, Husband and I headed over to the legendary farmers market at the base of Diamond Head crater. We saw Al and Elizabeth and her family, and I ate three of those donut-things-that-are-popular-in-New-Orleans-that-I-can’t-spell with lilikoi sauce, which is some very yummy sweet-tart thing that I’ve been enjoying while here. (Husband had two little mushroom and mozzarella risotto cakes from the same booth.) Husband and I also enjoyed Ewa sweet corn on the cob with butter and garlic powder. Yeah, it is a pretty strange combination, but delicious. We then browsed around the market for a while, and I bought sweet potato mochi (a sweet gloopy rice ball thing), sugar free lilikoi jam, and honey soap.

Powered up from our nutritionally devoid breakfast, Husband and I headed for the hike up Diamond Head. The hike is 0.8 miles each way, climbs over 500 feet, and involves dirt and stone trails and over 170 steps where the climb is too steep for a trail. I was nervous, but determined to not miss out on the views. Despite my gimpy limping, wee made it up, soaked in the views, and were back at the parking lot in about 70 minutes. My foot hurt a little, but I am so glad that I made it. Although I got some blisters from walking on my toes more than usual, it also gives me hope that I can do another hike.

After Diamond Head, we hit the beach outside our hotel. It was the first time we’ve seen the sun in three days, which was perfect. The waves were very fun to jump. However, the water was a bit cold and my foot started getting numb, so we only lasted 30 minutes before heading back inside for a nap then lunch. Now Husband is watching the Giants-Pats game while I rest my sea-urchin-and-blister-encrusted feet.

Tomorrow: Pearl Harbor and hopefully a hike up another crater.

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>Ouch

December 28th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>Here are some pictures from my Christmas Eve sea urchin mishap:

This is the two mile trail husband and I hiked down to get to the Capt. Cook Monument and the bay that is known for excellent snorkeling. It is full of loose rocks and over its course, descends 1,300 feet to the water.

The Monument stands in British soil! I thought this was very cool. Given its remote access location, however, it is not so well-maintained.

Although it hurt like a motherfucker, here I am calmly awaiting medical evacuation. Note the completely hideous sunglasses that I bought at Urban Outfitters the day before I left for the trip. They are fudiculous, which is my new term for fucking ridiculous. (Maybe the sea urchin attacked me because it was so offended by my bad taste?)

A close up shot of my injuries doesn’t do the damage justice. (A random tour guide/registered nurse plucked out the sea urchin spines that hadn’t broken off already before I thought to document the experience. (It’s a fuckload scarier to look at when there are long thin sticks poking out of the skin.) The big ink blobs and blood smears cover up all the individual barbs. There are 24 barbs in my heel and six on the side of my foot, plus about seven more near my big toe and four more near my little toe. While I still feel that a helicopter was a bit excessive, there was no way I could climb back up the trail.

All’s well that ends well… sort of. Most of the ink from the sea urchin is gone from my foot (but not all), I can put on my shoes again, and here I am posing cheerfully in the lovely lobby of our hotel in O’ahu.

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>What Time Is It?

December 28th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>December 27 not only marks my birthday, but also that of French scientist Louis Pasteur (you know – he made milk safe to drink through pasteurization and also invented the cure for rabies) and my favorite wooden puppet named after feces. That’s right, kids! My mom told me that “The Howdy Doody Show” debuted on Dec. 27, 1947. How cool is that?

Today Elizabeth and Al showed Husband and I around O’ahu’s infamous North Shore. Unfortunately it rained all day and the waves were not too big, so there weren’t too many surfers out. We did watch some hearty souls giving it their all and also ate amazing hamburgers and shaved ice. Elizabeth showed me where the kid sister attended school in Blue Crush, an awesomely cheesy fun chick surfing movie that I adore.

In other news, my foot is feeling a little better, but not great. (I’ll post some pictures later.) I gave up hope that I’ll be able to do much hiking on Diamondhead, so I am sad about that. As for my insect bites, I decided that they must be some sort of tape worm nests, as they seem to intensify in itchiness whenever I am hungry. The good news there is that I don’t think any new welts developed today.

Tomorrow Husband booked us on some sort of flying machine that I think Leonardo da Vinci invented. Assuming that we don’t fly too close to the sun and crash into the ocean, we will stop at the Dole Plantation afterwards. They boast the world’s largest maze (100,000 square feet), although some place in Ireland recently topped them. Assuming my foot is OK and it is not pouring rain, we’ll wander the pineapple hedgerow.

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>RIP Benazir Bhutto

December 27th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in random

>I turned the laptop on this morning to complain that my foot still hurts and that I also seem to have been eaten alive by some nasty bugs (my legs and arms have itchy red welts all over them, which began appearing on Christmas day and I am hoping are not from bedbugs…), but then I found out that Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. The first female leader of a Muslim nation, she continued to have thousands of supporters although she was dogged by corruption scandals and power-hungry. Some of this is no doubt due to the popularity of her father, but I was always fascinated by her. She seemed to break down barriers. I only hope that this sad event leads to something positive outcome – more democracy or increased women’s rights – somewhere in the world.

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>It’s My Birthday, Too!

December 27th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>It is still Dec. 26 in Hawaii, where I am blogging from, so it isn’t technically my 32nd birthday yet, but I was born in the ‘burbs of Chicago, not Hawaii, and it’s the 27th there. Yay my parents for having me.

My friend Elizabeth grew up in Hawaii and is in town with her husband Al (my friend from college), so we shall be spending the day with them. Elizabeth suggested driving up to the North Shore, which is sort of ironic because the suburban area I grew up in is also known as the North Shore but instead of being a winter surfing mecca, my North Shore is a frozen tundra. First we will eat breakfast at the super cool hotel that Husband and I are staying at (for free courtesy of his hotel points). The Royal Hawaiian was built in 1927 and is known as The Pink Palace. Everything is pink – towels, sheets, etc. It’s very cool. I love historic places. Anyway, it is supposed to have an amazing albeit pricey breakfast buffet, but we’re going out on a limb for my birthday.

Otherwise, I have been sort of quiet since I can’t walk too much since I was viciously attack by a sea urchin on Christmas Eve after falling off a rock while preparing to snorkel. Husband and I arrived in O’ahu yesterday and had a delicious and delightful Christmas dinner with Elizabeth’s charming and cultured family. Today we went to the Aloha Swap Meet, a fun flea market outside Aloha Stadium. After that, we headed to the Hawaiian Medical Heritage Center at The Queen’s Medical Center to check out a small exhibit. Since we are weirdos, we decided that it would be fun to eat at the hospital cafeteria and buy t-shirts from the gift shop. After that, we went to a laundromat.

Hope that everyone is having a fun and sea urchin-free holiday!

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>How I Got an Unintended Tattoo as a Souvenir (aka When Sea Urchins Attack)

December 24th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>So… I didn’t plan to log on again until later this week, but then again, I also didn’t plan to fall off of a slippery rock and land on a very angry sea urchin, which showed its displeasure by lodging dozens of barbed spines into the bottom of my right foot and toes on my left tootsie, rendering me unable to walk without lots o’ pain. (Wow, that was a long sentence.)

To save a couple hundred bucks, Husband and I decided to hike a two mile trail that descends 1300 feet to the Capt. Cook Monument instead of booking a snorkeling excursion. (We also were excited for the hike.) Everything began hunky dory. We found the trail (an abandoned dirt road) easily and handled the rocky trail well. It took about 90 minutes to reach the beach, which was already crowded with kayaks and boat tours. As we stripped off our sweaty pants and t-shirts to our bathing suits, we overheard a kayak guide tell his clients that he was a registered nurse. I asked him the best way into the water, and he suggested walking down the lava rocks.

The problem with the lava rocks, I discovered, is that the ones in the water are covered with moss or whatever and slippery as fuck. As I attempted to gingerly step into the water, I slipped off the rock. My feet got caught on a very rocky bottom and my water shoes came off. Then I felt a horrific stinging. I managed to pull myself onto the dry rock pile and discovered many spines sticking out of my feet.

Long story short, Husband went to look for the nurse guide and I crawled onto shore. Clearly there was no way I could walk back up the trail, so I called 911. After an extremely surreal conversation (the dispatcher didn’t entirely believe where I was or how I got there, but this could partially be because I claimed stepped on a sea anonomae while I was SCUBA diving), she said she’d send a rescue crew. Then the nurse tour guide appeared and used his first aid kit to pick the remaining spines out of my feet. He said that there is nothing I could do about the barbs, which are made of calcium, and would remain in my skin until they were absorbed. I mentioned that I called 911 and he said the Coast Guard boat shouldn’t be too long.

We sat around a while longer and then a Coast Guard guy called me on my cell phone to explain where the helicopter would pick me up. Yes. Helicopter. Seriously. For reasons I cannot understand, they decided to send a helicopter. I explained that I only needed help getting out and probably a helicopter was excessive, but he said that’s what they decided to send. This involved hiking back a little ways on the path, which was not fun.

Even less cool, there was no room for Husband. The poor man had to hike two miles uphill alone after I was evacuated. I felt like crap about the whole thing. First, I ruin his chance to snorkel by falling on a sea urchin. Then, he has to hike back alone to meet me in the hospital. And it started to rain. Oy.

So, long story long, I was choppered out and met by an ambulance. I repeatedly told the rescue and EMT guys how mortified I was that they had to waste their time and resources just because I couldn’t hike back. The EMT guys were not only cheerful, but adorable, and told me that they were glad I needed help since they were bored. At the hospital, I soaked my feet in vinegar. Husband eventually arrived, and I was relieved that he got off the trail safely. A doctor came in and took a cursory look at my many punctures and barbs and told me I had no infection. I was also told that the ink from the spine may never go away completely, hence my potential new series of tattoos.

That was my last day in Hawaii. Hopefully, the guy at my hotel who told me that the pain goes away in a few days will be right because otherwise the rest of the trip is going to suck for poor Husband since I can’t hike until the pain is a little less, which is very upsetting.

Merry Christmas! (Mele Kalikemaka!)

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>Three Quick Glimpses

December 24th, 2007 by Suzanne | No Comments | Filed in Uncategorized

>
On Mauna Kea at sunset it’s about 36 degrees. Fortunately, I no longer was faint at that point and enjoyed the view immensely when I wasn’t worrying about falling over the edge.


Standing in pouring rain trying to find the way from driveway to cabin in dark. Let’s just say it was a challenge, but ultimately worth it.

I love nene!

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