>Recently when I spoke to my friend Steph on the phone, she repeatedly referred to someone who pissed her off as a douche bag.

"What scent of douche is he?" I asked.

"Hmmmm..." Steph pondered.

"I bet he is licorice," I answered, laughing hysterically because I cannot imagine anything more ridiculous than licorice scented douche. Then I realized that I actually have no idea what scents douches come in, so I decided that some research was in order.

A search for "douche" on drugstore.com yielded the following:

  • Vinegar and Water
  • Fresh Baby Powder
  • Tropical Rain
  • Island Splash
  • Sweet Romance
  • Seriously. Not only is douche horribly unhealthy to use, but women want to smell like "Island Splash?" Do women who douche (and the people who love them) take a deep whiff and think, "Ah, nothing smells as good as Sweet Romance snatch?" And I suspect that even my friends who like waxing off all their pubic hair and going bare would be creeped out at the idea of a hairless poon that smells like baby powder.

    What is the world coming to when a lady can make her cooter smell like tropical rain, but not licorice? Yeesh.