>I adore Halloween. Even when I worked at a regular job, I wore a costume (my traditional German dirndl) to work on the holiday. Needless to say (but I will), none of my other co-workers dressed unusually those days.

For the vast majority of women, however, a milder version of dressing up for Halloween takes place every single day when they put on their faces before leaving the house. I'm not saying that make-up is bad or people shouldn't wear it as it obviously helps a lot of women feel better about themselves, but it is in many ways no less a mask than a dirndl is a piece of clothing. I am too cheap and lazy to care if I look like shit.

So it is funny that on the eve of Halloween, I found myself in a Sephora cosmetics Emporium in Times Square. (A double horror!) My friend and I were walking home from dinner and as we passed the store, she remembered that she needed a lip pencil sharpener and asked me if I minded stopping. I am always up for an adventure (yes, I consider entering a make-up shop) so inside we went. While I marveled at the tremendous variety of appearance-approving tools and tricks, I noticed a sale rack. And like a seven year old in a goblin costume, I dug through the bins for goodies. Since I can't resist cheap shit and "deals," I bought a $2 lip gloss stick and $4 sparkly eye shadow.

I tested my new face out when I got home. The lip gloss was a little darker than I thought it would be, making me look like a drank a glass of fresh frothy blood. The eye shadow was the perfect accoutrement to sitting on the couch and watching DVR'd episodes of the delightfully craptastic CSI:Miami. I washed the magic off before I went to sleep at 3 AM. As the soap threatened to get into my eyes, I thought about how parents punish kids for using dirty language by washing their mouths out with soap. Could one also wash their eyes out with soap after viewing less pleasant images, like pictures of Paris Hilton? Interesting.

Happy Halloween. Hopefully your day will not include any costumes so horrible that you'll want to wash your eyes out with soap.