>From now on, I pledge to say, "This suckles beavers," rather than,"This sucks," when things are not going well. When I was in college and people pissed me off, I used to scream out, "Suck my big fat clit!" This always brought out some reaction, often laughter, and the situation was diffused. Shock and amuse - that's my motto.

Yesterday, Sara/Farf gave me a tank top that says, "My Bush could do a better job." I wear it with pride as I set off for the Jersey Shore this morning. (Yes, I know I just got back from Chicago.) If anyone gives me gump about it (last year some douche bag told me that I should "thank Bush for making this country safer" when he saw me wearing my "Bush is a Tush" t-shirt that is now too small on me), I plan to tell them to, "Suckle my big fat beaver." In preparation for the beach, I did manage to shave my pits and lower legs. Board shorts that reach my knees take care of the rest, so the bikini line is untouched. Yay.

Speaking of beavers, Husband, Rebecca, and I watched Alex Elliot on our DVR. Our jaws dropped wider and wider as we watched Mike and Juliet, who are seriously the dumbest TV show hosts on the planet. Worse, Juliet is completely inarticulate. The show suckles beavers, although once again, let me iterate how awesome Alex was on TV.