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I’m on a crazy spree today. It was set off when I noticed a pair of flip flops on sale for "only $19.99" on the back of an Eddie Bauer catalog. (Remeber when flip flops cost $1.99 in the crap aisle of the local pharmacy and were pieces of shitty foam and plastic meant to be worn to the beach or pool? I miss those days.) You can ignore it if you want to. Here are my cardinal sins in women’s “professional” attire:

1. “Dress” shorts. I don’t give a rat’s ass if your shorts are tailored and made of fancy materials. They are still fucking shorts. They don’t belong at work unless you work in a place where it is generally considered OK to wear shorts anyway, so why bother wearing tailored ones?

2.“Dressy” flip flops. I don’t care if flip flops have the fucking Hope Diamond glued on them, they are fucking flip flops. Unless you work in the recreation industry, why on earth does anyone think that flip flops are appropriate for work? I see men wearing flip flops to casual events all the time. I do not see them wearing them to the office or formal occasions, like weddings. Men seem to have figured out that flip flops are not, in fact, shoes, even when they come with neat arch supports and gold braid.

Really, ladies. Could we act any more unprofessional? You want bare legs and/or toes in summer? Fine, wear a skirt. Ever heard of sandals? (You know, things with soles and at least some structure. Not the super strappy ones.) Sometimes I think that women will never be equal in the work place because at heart, we don’t really want it. Who the fuck can take a person wearing shorts or flip flops to work seriously? You can’t even bother getting dressed, and shorts look utterly ridiculous with suit jackets because they are shorts. Wear them to the damn beach or pool or park with your foofy flip flops.

Whew. Lots of rage radiating out of me, but I sure feel better now. Smile.

Update: I want to clarify. I don't care what people wear to work as long as they dress within reason. That means if men are expected to wear suits or shirts, pants, and shoes at a work place, I expect that women would also be expected to wear the same type of clothing. If no one is expected to dress nicely, then I don't care what women wear. (Except that I hate flip flops anyway. Just a personal thing.) The point is, if we want to be respected and taken seriously, we need to look the part at least a little bit.

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