>If I stepped into a shower at any of the various hotels or motels that I stayed in over the last two weeks and encountered the conditions that I just experienced a few minutes ago in my very own home, I would have run out screaming and demanded a full refund. (Probably between the screaming and refund demand, I would put some clothes on, just to be clear.) Until I blasted the fuck out of it with Tilex, my shower was hosting MoldFest 2007.

MoldFest has actually been going on for quite a while now. Husband is one of those people who just refused to see things he does not want to clean, so sometimes I'd conduct experiments to see how bad things could get before he'd notice that he was cleaning himself in a tub of mold. I always wind up giving up before that happens. When the mold asks you if it can scrub your back for you, it is time to clean.

In the last few months, I discovered a profoundly disturbing new shower denizen, a yellow viscous goop that appeared as splash marks or smears on the while tile wall.

"What the fuck is this?" I kept thinking to myself as I cleaned it off.

Today it looked like a giant with a raucous sinus infection sneezed on the top shelf of our shower caddy. I sniffing at it, and it smelled vaguely antiseptic. It was time for a serious shower cleaning without a doubt. When I told Husband what I was doing, he was puzzled.

"The shower is disgusting?" he asked.

It's a good thing that he is such a fine Husband in every other way.