>Instead of keeping a Kleenex box on my nightstand like a normal person, I took a cue from my dear old mom and decided that I can just stick a few tissues in the waistband of my pajamas for when I need to blow my nose. (Note: Jewish White Trash do not sully their pretty sometimes - surgically altered noses - with generic tissue. It's only Kleenex or Puffs for us!) In my case, I don't have room on my nightstand for something useful like Kleenex because it is all cluttered up with junk like hair accessories that I no longer use because my hair is short and has been for over a year, a box with bills and pay stubs, and other assorted crap. To be fair, I do have actual items of meaningfulness to a slumbering person, such as an alarm clock and my glasses case and asthma medicines on the nightstand as well. Sometimes those are knocked off in the middle of the night because my nightstand sits immediately next to my bed, of which I sleep on the edge and thrash around.

Last night as we were falling asleep, I asked Husband for some Kleenex.

"Why don't you have any on your nightstand?" he murmured, annoying that I bother him as he drifted into la la land.

I tried to snort with disgust at the very concept, but instead choked on a mouth full of viscous mucus.

"If tucking Kleenex into the waistband of my pajamas is good enough for my mom, it's good enough for me!"

"Whatever. Good night."

Unfortunately, I found that my pajama waistband is not tight enough to retain the Kleenex, so I began tucking them into the elastic top of my granny undies. Every time I woke up to use the bathroom, I'd forget they were there and then my stock would fall into the toilet. At least we have a little shelf with snot rags (as my friend J says) right next to the toilet so I could de-snot and re-stock.

Good times.