>Other than embarrassing myself with the Great Dildo Debacle of '07, I spent nearly every waking moment outside this weekend. At one point, I considered that my allergies were sending up warning flares, but I ignored them. The weather was just too tempting.

The other thing that spending a lot of time outdoors leads to is tiredness. Although I was exhausted last night, the nasal drip geyser and itchy soreness at the back of my throat kept me up.

"I know," I thought to myself around 11:30. "I'll take two Benadryl! Not only will that help with my allergies, but it will also make me sleep. I'm a genius!" I gulped the pills down. And we all know that I should never, ever take things to help me sleep.

Several hours (minutes? Seconds?) later, I woozily awoke with a full bladder. Zombie-like, I staggered into the bathroom. The room was spinning. I'm only 97% sure I remembered to wipe before trudging back to bed, holding the wall for support.

At some point later, I thought I was drowning. With much effort, my eyelids were unwillingly pried open. I was lying in a pool of drool. Even my faithful companion, Theo the teddy bear, was covered in slobber. Or at least the left side of his face was. Husband was spared, though, and I decided to keep it that way by moving to the couch.

While relocating, I pondered the existence of God. If there is in fact a god, it is definitely genderless or hermaphroditic. But which one? Employing the principals of ying-yang, I decided that any possible god is a hermaphrodite. What do you think?

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