>I hate stools. I'm not talking about the brown ones that come out of my ass, either, although for the record they have been quite unpleasant lately because I've been eating so much crap. (After all, you are what you eat.) No, the stools that I hate are the chairs that are a zillion feet off the ground for no discernible reason other than some idiot decided to make high tables because they look cool. Or for a bar, which at least makes sense.

As a short person, I find stools extremely difficult to navigate. How am I supposed to scoot closer to the table? My legs are at least four feet off the damn ground. Whoever invented non-bar stool and table sets clearly hated those of us who are vertically challenged. Yet another reason the Randy Newman song "Short People have No Reason to Live" resonates with me every once in a blue moon. (My mom used to serenade me with that song.)

Yes, I had a challenging dinner tonight. Dosas are delicious, but not on my lap and on the floor. Harumph.