>I'm going to India with my friend Ray. Ray is a high school teacher, and a retired teacher/part-time travel agent is arranging the trip for teachers and their friends and family. I met Ray in Hebrew school when I was in 6th grade, and we've been chums ever since. She still lives in the 'burbs of Chicago, though, so I do not get to see her as often as I would like. I'm almost as excited to be spending a full week with her in general as I am to be spending it with her in India.

It's going to be hot while we are in India, so I decided that I should buy a jeans skirt this weekend to take on the trip. Easier said than done. I went to the Filene's Basement and the Gap. Next, against my better judgment, I tried Banana Republic. I discovered that the Ann Taylor with the petite department closed. (Curses! I shake my fist at you, whoever is responsible for this.) I crossed the threshold at Urban Outfitters and Express.

All of these places sold jeans skirts. However, with the exception of the Gap (which had a knee length skirt for the "bargain" price of $58 – no thanks), they were only mini skirts. Mini skirts that in some cases would not have even fully covered my ass cheeks. I asked the sales lady at Express what was up with this evilness.

"It's what's in style now," she patiently explained.

"Yeah, well some of us have fat thighs that we don't want people staring at," I said glumly.

She shrugged. That pretty much sums up the situation.