>Friday night was packed with excitement. I went to a burlesque show/fundraiser for Planned Parenthood New York and Haven Coalition. I am an increasingly shitty leader of Haven these days, both literally and figuratively, as my digestive tract is continuing its revolt against me and I keep forgetting to do important things for Haven, such as bring printed information about our work to fundraising events. That's another story, though.
Anyway, at the event, which was oodles of fun, I bought four tickets to the raffle. I am very pleased to say that Lady Luck gave me a big, wet, sloppy kiss, and I won a ginormous squishy dildo! How cool is that?Although given its girth, does it not kinda of scare you? I admit that it intimidates me. I'm wussy that way, though.
Husband was unable to attend the event because he went to a casino with a few co-workers. I eagerly awaited his return home so I could show him my loot.
"Hi!" I said as he walked in the door. "How was the casino? Did you win anything?"
He looked sad. "No."
"Oh well," I pretended to sympathize for a second, then shifted gears. "Look what I won in a raffle!" I blurted out as I shoved the dildo in his face.
"Great," he replied without much enthusiasm.
"I'm going to show it to your parents when they come over for dinner tomorrow," I teased.
"Yeah, can you please not do that?" he said, blushing. (As a redhead, he is a great blusher.)
"I'll think about it." I put it down on the bookcase next to the computer.
On Saturday, I helped Dr. H pick up a desk and dresser that she had in storage in Long Island. Dr. P also came along, and we had a lovely day together. When I returned to my apartment, I nearly collapsed with laughter."I felt like it was staring at me while I did our taxes," Husband explained. "Then I realized that it couldn't stare at me because it had no eyes, so I rectified the situation."
"Where'd you get the googlie eyes?" I asked, wiping the tears of mirth from my eyes.
"From your box marked 'googlie eyes,'" he said, as if everyone has a box of googlie eyes just lying around. (I love googlie eyes, and you never know when they will come in handy, as Husband proved.) "Now it's really a trouser snake!"
See how lucky I am? Not only does Husband take me on exciting trips around the globe, but he also tapes googlie eyes onto dildos and makes funny jokes. I am the luckiest girl ever.