>Talk about an amazing Valentine's Day gift. Left Coast Insomniac sent me this hillllarious article from SFGate about a new shaver from Phillips Norelco for male pubes. The website is actually called shaveeverywhere.com. Ha ha ha. Seriously. (Dr. P is making faces at me because I find this so funny and she is obviously disturbed by it.) According to the brilliant SFGate recap of shaveeverywhere.com, an interactive salesguy tells potential customers:
...straight out, that the Bodygroom
will "help make your dick look bigger." This is a theme and a key selling
point. He will also tell you, with a (winking) straight face, that the
Bodygroom is "the convenient, easy, gentle way to make your genitals
bloom." And if you ask him if women really prefer a well-groomed man, he
will snicker in disbelief and barely be able to contain his laughter
before composing himself, looking straight at the camera and deadpanning,
"Yes, yes they do."
In fact, the opening introduction alone addresses your average American
frat guy's naggingly homophobic concerns right from the start. Gary even
admits to it himself: "Let me tell you, this whole issue [of genital
grooming] used to make me quite uncomfortable. But now, with a hair-free
back, well-groomed shoulders and an extra optical inch on my cock, let's
just say life has gotten pretty darn cozy."
Oh damn, damn, damn. That is just too funny. Dr. P and I just watched the online blurb and we cannot stop laughing. Especially when fuzzy kiwis, peaches, and bushy topped carrots are flashed at sensitive parts of the actor's censored speech. (Neither of us get the peach as a symbol. Any suggestions?) I suggest you watch immediately. Or as soon as possible if your employer will be angry that you are watching a smarmy guy in a bathrobe looking down admirably at his presumably now-hairless balls.
Personally, I prefer my dudes on the hairy side of the coin. This product is no more ridiculous than any of the shit hawked to women, even if the ad is way more (unintentionally) amusing. Still, I can't say that I'm too choked up that men are now feeling the grooming squeeze, so to speak. Maybe when they discover that it sucks to have hairs yanked out of sensitive areas, they'll stop expecting these things from the supposedly fairer sex that somehow endures riduculously painful and stupid groomeing routines. In the meantime, I am just going to laugh my femininely hairy ass off.