>Husband and I attended a fancy-schmancy event on Saturday night at the Museum of Natural History. (No, it wasn't Michael's Bar Mitvah. That was the other event at the museum that night. I shit you not.) We spent a fun evening eating and dancing in the Hall of Ocean Life. I was all gussied up for the evening, and even wore make-up and shit. Several nice photo opportunities presented themselves.

I could not wait to pose with the infamous sperm whale in epic battle with a giant squid.When I mentioned it to one of Husband's acquaintences, he objected to the use of the word "sperm" in the whale's name. I asked if perhaps "jizz" whale, "splooge" whale, or "sputum" whale might be more acceptable to him. Husband was slightly horrified at first, but realized the guy was drunk and would probably not remember any of this.I also posed next to parasites. My friend The Sauce was in the Peace Corps and actually shat these things out for several years during and after her return from the jungle.

Speaking of shit, here I am with Uranus.Ha ha ha ha. That planet will never fail to crack me (and a busload of elementary school kids) up. After posing with Uranus, we passed by Michael's Bar Mitvah, where they were giving out free gourmet popcorn to guests. It seems that sniggering about Uranus makes people think that I am 13 a bar mitvah attendee, so I was asked which type of popcorn I would like. I chose the caramel chocolate of course. It was a better parting gift than the ones our event gave out, which were crappy metal bookplates. Husband was amused and pleased as we munched. A good time was had by all.

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