>Given that my special irritance with our culture these days is the pressure for women to wax or shave their cooties, one might naturally assume that I would not write an article saying that the world needs more porn. In porn, it makes perfect sense to have shaved beaver so you can see more of the action; bare lips make for hot close ups. Life, however, should not so closely resemble porn. Porn is great for fantasies, and sometimes fantasies are better off remaining that way. What do you have to look forward to in life if all your fantasies come true, and all that garbage?

Also, I don’t really think that porn is responsible for the spread (heh heh) of Brazilian waxing. I read an interview in Bitch magazine a while ago with a woman who wrote a book about women working in the sex industry. (I wrote about this before, but I can’t find it.) The author said that if porn was responsible for making Brazilian waxes trendy, it would be called a “porno wax,” not a Brazilian. Excellent point!

When I think about how we found ourselves in the situation where you can’t read one damn women’s magazine without being subjected to the glories of waxing and why every woman need to do or she will be hideous and unlovable, I blame the inexplicable rise in the popularity of thongs and g-strings. It is impossible to look decent in either of these torture devices while rocking a pubic ‘fro.

Incidentally, there is little chance in hell to look good in these “undergarments” if you have an ounce of fat or cellulite on you. Yes, average woman, this means you. This is why I cannot understand why anyone wants to wear them. And don’t give me that shit about panty lines and tight pants, because I still see plenty of lines when women wear stings in their asses instead of regular ass-coverers. The lines are just different types. Instead of a line circling the top of a woman’s thigh, I find myself staring at the Bermuda triangle that formed above her ass. Thus, wearing a thong to deflect attention from “panty lines” is a miserable failure.

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