>Last night as I stuffed Hershey's Kisses into my mouth as if the Republicans planned to ban chocolate as the ultimate "fuck you" to the electorate before this session of Congress ends, I came across one that was slightly deformed. "Hmmmm..." I thought, "I hope this isn't poisoned." After a very short pause to consider, I said, "Oh well," and I gobbled it up. It was extra chocolatey, I swear.

After eating the damaged Kiss and two others, it occurred to me that had I known for a fact that it had been tampered with, there was a good chance that I still might've ingested it anyway. This is disturbing, particularly because it was not like it was my last Kiss. (Oh contraire, a good 10-15 remain to taunt me.) Yet the allure of a chocolate in my hand was too much to resist.

Maybe Rumsfeld had the same problem. I am doomed.