>The evening news is utterly unwatchable. It’s not just that the quality of reporting is depressing, but the news itself still causes me to want to move into a cave and live a hermetic life. For example, I watched the ABC evening news on Friday. Three stories made me want to set out on a shooting rampage.

First, there was a report that I only saw the end of, but had something to do with Vietnam veterans. The final quote from one of the vets was, “Vietnam was different than Iraq. In Vietnam, we wanted to overthrow the government, but in Iraq, we want to help.” Riiiiiight. The goal of the Iraq invasion had nothing to do with removing their government and replacing it with one of our choice. Help me if people actually think this.

The next news item was about the FDA’s re-approval of silicone breast implants. I am all in support of scientific evidence. I understand that there is no scientific evidence that conclusively links silicone leaking out of implants and carousing through a person’s body to other ailments. However, I also understand that there is no conclusive evidence that there is no long term effect. Can I remind people that silicone breast implants are a completely elective and cosmetic procedure? Lives are not saved with breast implants. And how jolly that silicone fake tits resemble real ones more closely than saline fake tits, as the traitorous woman plastic surgeon gushed on TV. Guess what most resembles real tits? Yes, real tits. Ladies, leave the girls alone! If you are sad and lonely, it is not because your tits are too small. Breast implants will not make your life better. Appreciate who you are instead of having bags full of weird chemicals stuffed into your chest. If you still insist on a boob job, and 15 or 20 years later, you are all fucked up because you have silicone blood, don’t come crying to me. I hope your insurance rejects all your claims because it pisses me off that I have to pay to fix something that never should have happened in the first place.

Sigh. Onto my next beef with the world. Hey! It’s the medical “profession” again! It seems that more and more doctors have decided that the practice of medicine includes theology. So if a woman is raped and asks for emergency contraceptive because she might kill herself if she wound up pregnant as a result, doctors needn’t consider what is best for the patient, but what the voice of Jesus/Shiva/Buddha/L. Ron Hubbard/Lubavitcher Rebbe in their heads want. So it’s completely subjective and interpretive. Whatever. Medicine is really about playing God anyway, right?

On the bright side, CNN had a nice interview with Richard Linklater about the horrors undocumented workers are subjected to after meat packing companies lure them here for jobs. It is nice to see someone stand up for undocumented workers, some of the most vulnerable people living in the US, and finally place the blame for the rise in illegal immigration where it belongs, which is on the giant companies that knowingly recruit them for jobs because it is easier to abuse them since they can’t complain about insanely dangerous working conditions.

At least I can flee the real world and hang out with Dr. H and Dr. P in shifts. They are lovely women. I don’t know what I would do without my pals.