>Damn, I’m exhausted. My friend the Sauce came to visit me this weekend. The Sauce and I met when we were nine and she moved onto my block on April Fool’s Day. We have been friends ever since, except for our freshman year of high school when she decided that I became uppity and stopped speaking to me. She moved away after that, but we patched things up and have remained best of friend, despite living in different cities (and often countries), ever since.

Anyway, whenever the Sauce is around, wackiness is bound to follow. Since Thursday, I’ve accompanied her on a quest to purchase “shaggy” boots. The style she seeks is best described as boots that make her look like a mini yak is humping her leg when she is wearing them. Needless to say, they are hard to find. While on the mission for shaggy boots, we detoured to a Dominican salon in Brooklyn for her to have her hair done for $15, entered a shop that seemed to sell exclusively to women who are the background booty calls in rap videos, and saw two B-list celebrities, Richard Belzer from Law & Order: SVU and Chris Parnell, formerly on Saturday Night Live. We also heard amusing stories of Big O’s failed attempts to date and/or seduce women (such as when he was on a date and it was pouring rain, and he said, “See? I knew I’d get you wet tonight,” which is hilarious unless you are the datee).

Good times.