>While it is true that I am bitter over the Mets's loss last night, it was their own fault for not playing better, and that is not why I am calling the Cardinals's player Scott Spiezio a snatch face. No, he's a snatch face because someone seems to have given his facial pubes a Brazilian wax. (What is a beard, if not pubic hair on one's face?) And then they dyed it Cardinal red for full effect.

I'm no more a fan of facial Brazilians than cootie ones, but an unfortunate sportscaster once asked Spiezio's teammate (not sure which one) what he thought of the red tuft of hair on Spiezio's chin. The guy answered that the team nicknamed it "The Tickler," which mortified the sportscaster. Now calling someone's facial snatch patch a tickler on national TV is damn funny.

Still, go Tigers.