>Two grandmother incidents took place this weekend:

1. Last night while Sister, Sister's Husband, and I drove Bubbe home from dinner, she randomly launched into a raunchy Yiddish ditty that roughly translates into:

Hurry before my ass gets cold
and while my front is wet,
but no one wants to have sex with me
because I'm old.

I'm sure this makes much more sense in Yiddish (which I did write down, just in case), but we found it pretty hilarious. And disturbing.

2. Tonight I went with my mother over to my grandma's house. As they were crabbing at each other, my grandmother told my mom she was a putz and then also muttered, "Cunt." I didn't hear it, but my mom got mad and then my granny said, "She always gets mad when I say cunt." I pointed out that most people don't like being called a cunt, and she looked at me as though I were on crack.