>In about one year, my mother-in-law (MIL) will gain a second daughter-in-law. Although Brother-in-Law (BIL) is as odd as Husband is (in his own special way, of course), don’t worry about MIL needing to cope with another freak for a daughter-in-law. Nope, Future-Sister-in-Law (FSIL – she doesn’t like the acronym for Brother-in-Law’s Spouse, although I find it hilarious) is not only stylish, well-groomed, and intelligent, but she is also normal.

For example, let’s say something malodorous permeated the air. FSIL will cheerfully wrinkle her cute nose and refer to whatever is offending the senses as “smelly.” I, on the other hand, will ask what “reeks like a rank fucking plop of diarrhea” and then laugh hysterically. Sure, she likes sci fi, but she keeps her “uncool” predilections much better hidden than I do and is polite.

Not only is FSIL pleasant and attractive, but she also wants to have kids. I am a dried up barren hag who most likely could not produce an heir to Husband’s currently non-existent fortune even if I wanted to. It’s not that I don’t like kids, because I do, and I am very dedicated to ensuring that less privileged children get a fair shake in life, but I prefer them at a distance and/or in short bursts. Thus my destiny as the runner-up daughter-in-law is fait accompli – MIL can’t wait to have some cute potentially red headed grandkids.

Don’t get me wrong. She never nags me or bothers me about it, and Husband insists I am being ridiculous. Still, I’m jealous. Who knew that sibling rivalry extended to sibling-in-laws?