>I received this email about an ago at work from our consultants to help them prepare for a retreat:

To help us, we would appreciate it if you would take time to answer as many of the questions below as possible. Please be candid, be you, and be prepared to have some of this information shared publicly at the retreat.

To proceed, simply hit “reply” to [consultant’s name] and then type in your responses to the following items and “send” your response back to me. Deadline: July 7th.

Wow, good thing we pay consultants gobs of money for their guidance. It’s not like I knew how to reply to emails in the 12 years since I began eagerly taking advantage of the internet as a communication tool. Really, who knew that getting a response back to the sender merely required hitting “reply” and “send.” Craziness!

Of course, the questions that they want me to answer bring up some issues as well. Choice selections include:

    2. What is the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?
    5. What is a hidden talent you possess that most people don’t know about?
    6. What’s one of the funniest things you’ve ever done?
    9. What is a special interest/passion of yours that could be useful at [work]?
    10. What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekend?
    12. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
    17. What skill do you have that never gets used at work?
    19. Do you have any hobbies? What are they?
    23. What special skill/interest/ability of yours contributed in a meaningful way to a project/program or new initiative during the past year?
    24. Did you accomplish something in the past year that you never thought possible (i.e. acquired a new skill, created a new process or program, etc.)? What was it?

You can see from this why I am always of the verge of killing someone. I am extremely tempted to answer “suck dick” to each of these questions. They want to know the real me, right? Ha ha ha. Yes, it is a good thing I am moving into part-time employment.