>I read a hilarious list on Red Stapler of 10 things that piss Suebob off. Not to ruin it (you must read it yourself, it is great), but #10 is people who wear designer clothes and think they are god’s gift to earth as a result. (I'm paraphrasing here.)

Anyway, Suebob’s list brought on a flashback to my days of youth and stupidity. (As opposed to now, my days of hagdoom and stupidity.) Back when I was in 6th grade, my family could not afford designer anything, but I lived in a very affluent area where anyone who did not wear designer stuff stuck out like the Jewish white trash I was (and still am). This was awful to a girl going through puberty who wanted to be accepted and liked (as opposed to now, when I am not going through puberty, but still seek approval and affection from others, albeit in strange ways), and I hoped and hoped that one day Guess? jeans would be on sale or marked down enough that I could have a pair.

One day, during a back-to-school clothes shopping trip to Whiz Kids in Highland Park, I found the mythical Guess? jeans for $27. I begged my mom to stretch a bit so I could have a pair, and she agreed. Every time I wore the damn things, I made sure my pocket with the symbol was showing. Then one day I had an argument with a classmate and she rudely asked why I thought I was so great (which, as a side note, was totally not true - I had terrible self-esteem), and before I could stop myself, I said, "Because I wear Guess jeans." Immediately, I was mortified to have said such a thing. Years later, I found out the brothers behind Guess? were horrible sexist pigs when I read Backlash, the book that made me the raging feminist I am today, and to this day, they are second most expensive pair of jeans I ever owned. (The most expensive pair being Levi’s 518 Super Low Rise jeans that I bought for $29, but truly they are an amazing fit.)