>Yesterday I decided to stop by the local sex shop for red fishnet stockings to complete my costume for the Mermaid Parade on Saturday. (I have the crab shell and oven mitt claws in place from last year (and the year before), and I picked up a red sequin bowtie at a costume and card shop a few blocks away from my apartment.) I had a sneaking suspicion that they would have just what I was looking for.

As I walked in, I immediately spotted a disembodied mannequin leg sporting red fishnets. Excitedly, I scanned all the sex costumes hanging up on the wall. I had to move around a guy who was kneeling to browse through all the DVD on sale (50% off!), but eventually near the back I found black fishnets and orange fishnets. Hmmm…

Doubling back around the bargain shopper, I made my way to the counter. The cashier was chatting away in some foreign language, but hung up when he noticed me. “Can I help you miss?” (I love that the cashier in a sex shop politely called me “miss.”) I told him I was looking for red fishnets and he said to look in the back. I figured I might have missed them on my first pass, so I snuck by the bargain shopper again. There was nothing but fake vaginas and a pair of fake boobs that were marketed as “Heavenly Handfuls.”

After ringing up the DVD purchases from the other customer, the cashier also came to look, and noticed that they were out of stock. “Why don’t you get a pair in black?” he helpfully suggested. “Black goes with everything!” I thanked him for his fashion tip, but told him I really needed red ones for my crab costume. He nodded understandingly, and I was on my way.