>Oh, American women! For all the times you delight me (see: anything written by Suebob, Feministing, Broadsheet, etc.), you also make me despair (see: anything written by Caitlin Flanagan, Ann Coulter, that evil bitch who wrote a book about the righteousness of Japanese internment camps in the US in WWII, etc.). Behold the latest horror I have discovered: maternity thongs.

I’d think that all of the women in the world who would not want their underwear jammed in their asses, it would be pregnant women. Who would want to add an extra layer of discomfort to an already uncomfortable situation, I innocently think to myself. As usual, I’m wrong.

As I exited the subway yesterday evening, my eye was level to the ass of the woman ahead of me on the staircase. She was VERY pregnant. And despite the claim of thong-advocates that a primary benefit of thongs is lack of panty line when worn, her thong was clearly visible against her dress. Look, I agree that being pregnant should not condemn one to where I live (that would be dowdyland). But for god’s sake, a thong-line looks no more attractive than any other line caused by underwear. Of all the times to seize comfort over fashion, being pregnant should be prime. (Don’t get me started on pregnant women and heels…) As long as there is an increased chance of losing bladder control, I say, abandon the fashionista bullshit! You won’t look stylish after the fetus shifts positions and you piss yourself as a result, anyway.

I suppose that a pregnant woman could be wearing a thong to prepare herself for the constant discomfort of labor, but that seems awfully harsh. The whole thing is wrong, wrong, and more wrong.

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