>Yes, I know that this incident happened eons ago (or a week ago, same difference in this fickle world) and that D. even tipped me off to it the day it hit the papers, but what can I say? Sometimes I am slow. Now that I awake up with insomnia, though, I had no excuse not to persue this case that proves that thongs are evil. (Thanks to *Egotastic! for posting a downloadable picture.)

For anyone who does not yet know, this is Lindsay Lohan at the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. If she were wearing a normal, ass covering pair of underwear, this ugly incident would not have happened. And no one can give me some bullshit about needing a thong to avoid "panty lines." You might notice that the drapery - er, dress - she is wearing would hide an illegal immigrant that Congress is trying so hard these days to punish. Pause for a moment and be glad that Lindsay does not have assne (zits on the other face). Can you imagine how horribly more embarrassing it would be to flash hundreds of tweens with an assne condition?

Let this be a lesson to all women: thongs are not your friends. They are only a breeze or seam split away from betraying the blue ring around Uranus to the rest of the solar system.