>7:50 AM Wake up 20 minutes earlier than planned

7:52-8:20 Check email and do research online

8:25-8:50 Shower, get dressed, finish packing

8:55-9:00 Check out of hotel and complain about tampon wrappers on bathroom
floor; get $50 off bill

9:00-9:10 Hang around and wait for co-workers

9:11-9:29 Load into white mini van and begin trip with co-workers to see Salk Institute in La Jolla

9:30-9:59 Hang around Salk Institute, a funky modernist complex with white boxy buildings that has stunning view of ocean; watch architect friend/colleague
swoon; buy other co-worker coffee and eat banana

10:00 Begin roadtrip to Escondido to visit Lawrence Welk Museum

10:35-10:49 Hang around Lawrence Welk Museum; watch colleague who grew up in
Minnesota watching Lawrence Welk Show swoon; take pictures of ginormous champagne glass, cardboard cutout of Lawrence Welk posed in life-like manner in front of fake ABC TV camera; read a bit about Lawrence Welk and learn that he begged father to buy him $400 accordion when he was 17, which he repaid by promising to work on the farm until age 21 and give dad any earnings from weekend accordion gigs; wonder where the hordes of old folks are

10:50-10:53 Buy postcard in gift shop as well as $2.95 emory board with picture of Welk on it as gift for co-worker

10:54-11:00 Go back to museum and use bathroom; leave just as massive tour bus full of elderly people pulls up

11:00-11:58 Drive to LA in silence so that co-worker can participate in conference call via cell phone

11:58-12:36 Begin chatting while conference call is adjourned for lunch; become enraged at insane things that are going on; yell a lot about various injustices; dub mini van “the white hot mini van of bitterness and rage;” laugh hysterically

12:37-12:49 Drive in silence again so co-worker can finish call

12:50-3:00 Arrive at LA office and get lunch; eat; check voicemail; engage in call that causes anger to swell inside

3:01-3:45 Leave with architect friend/colleague and have mini meltdown; go to crappy mall; leave crappy mall and head over to interesting-looking central library

3:46-5:00 Return to office; hang out and chat with LA staff

5:01-5:45 Head over to hotel across street from USC; learn that 5 out of 12 floors of hotel are used as dorm rooms for undergrads; check into hotel in resignation

5:46-6:03 Go with co-workers to park white hot mini van of bitterness and rage in garage across street; notice SUV and remember again why I am a misanthrope
6:04-6:28 Download day’s photos onto computer

6:29-9:35 Meet co-workers for dinner; pile into white hot mini van of bitterness and rage; get lost looking for restaurant, but see sign that makes me laugh because I am being immature; find restaurant and have delicious dinner, including amazing moon pie for dessert;return to hotel and go to crappy gym

10:00-present Download new photo; type day’s events and post with pictures in effort to amuse and entertain others