>Recently, I read the comment below, which was from February and was in response to a pro-unshaved snatch comment I left in response to an interesting post about “Sexfoliation” on Jacqueline Mackie Paisley Passey’s blog:

Suzanne,
It seems to me that the logical response would be a Campaign for Not Giving Women Oral Sex Anymore Because Pubic Hair Is Irritating to the Face and It's Really Embarrassing When You Get It Stuck Between Your Teeth (CNGWOSABPHIIFITEWYGISBYT), or "The Campaign" as I call it.
Phil W.

I guess Phil W. won’t be eating me out any time soon, which I’m sure Husband will be happy to hear, and which, quite frankly doesn’t bother me too much, either. I do wonder a bit why a stray pube is that horribly embarrassing, unless you happen to wander around afterward without checking your teeth. In her awesome memoir, Beth Lisick has a gut bustingly funny story about going to a neighborhood holiday party hungover and with a pube caught in her teeth, and while that was embarrassing, I would think it is easy enough to prevent before going out by looking in a mirror quickly. If you pick it out in front of your partner, it should not be that big a deal. I mean, your face was just in his/her crotch - what right does he/she have to be horrified by a pube?

Anyway, here's my response:

Phil - I assume that you shave your pubes before you expect women to give you oral sex then, which is very considerate of you. If I am incorrect, then I guess you are just a big hypocrite, since it is no less irritating for women to deal with men's pubic hair than it is for men to deal with women's.

His response:

I dunno, Suzanne. Maybe you really like to deep throat it, or maybe the men you've been with just have small penises, but for the most part, the average male penis is 5.5 inches long while the average mouth is only 3-4 inches deep. Seems like a decent trim is all we men need. Seems like a fair tradeoff to me. Men get conveniently located external genitalia and lower life expectancies, while women get less convenient internal genitalia but better, multiple orgasms.

I was originally going to make fun of Phil, but now that I saw his response to my query, I actually feel sorry for him. I guess no one has ever licked his balls or his low on his shaft or by the base or anything like that. After I tried to make peace with some bullshit response along the lines of whatever floats your boat blah blah blah, he felt the need to educate innocent little me about cocks:

Well, the head of the penis *is* the part that can be stimulated to orgasm...

Yeah, thanks for the 411 on blowjobs. Hopefully, people aren't turning to him for sex advice too frequently if these are the nuggests of wisdom he dispenses. I did some further investigating and took a look at Phil’s blog. He has a very nice picture of himself (which is more than I can say for little old me at this time). I could not help but notice, however, the patch of scratchy-looking hair he’s got on his chin. Somehow, I don’t think that would feel comfortable on an unshaved crotch or rubbing against a thigh. Maybe my initial annoyance with his attitude was spot on.

Anyway, as noted above, Beth Lisick seemed to get a guy's pubes caught in her teeth, so oddly enough, it can happen when giving a good hummer. If you have such low expectations for oral sex for yourself, I should not make fun of you. At any rate, I hope his comment on multiple orgasms means that he works to help his partner be the best that she can be, which is very nice.

I'll end with a few questions: Are chin pubes better or worse than snatch pubes in terms of level of potential irritation? How embarrassing is it really to get a pube in your teeth? Why is Beth Lisick's book NOT on the bestseller list? These are the things that keep me up at night (along with shaving so that I look decent on the cruise my in-laws paid to take me on). OK, maybe not, but they are good questions that deserve answers, damn it!

Bon voyage for now - I'll check in from the cruise ship!

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