>(I realize that New Year’s Eve was some time ago, but a good story is a good story.  It just took me awhile to get around to telling it.  Trust me, the wait was worth it.)

This past New Year’s Eve, our friend The Big O had had to scramble to find something to do when his friend canceled.  The Big O had of late been interesting in finding a Jewish lass with whom he might spend some quality time, so he quickly researched a few parties with a young Jewish singles theme.  Many of them had steep entry fees because of an all night open bar.  The Big O needed to save some cash, so he was quite excited when he found a party that was only $40.  There was very little information on the organization throwing the bash, so he called the bar it would be at and asked if they knew anything about it.  The guy at the bar said he only knew the admission fee and that somewhere between 500 and 1,000 people were expected to attend.  The Big O figured that a huge crowd would be a good bet.  He hopped on the subway, prepared to woo the ladies with his suave charm.

When he arrived at the bar, he paid his $40 fee and went to the basement where the party was held.  Immediately he noticed something very odd.  He seemed to be the only male attendee not wearing a yarmulke.  And the ladies?  The ladies were wearing only the finest long skirts that covered their shoes,  although some of the rebellious ones had pants on.  “Oh no!,” he thought.  Oh yes – The Big O was amongst the Modern Orthodox section of Jews for the evening.

It could have been worse.  It could have been a Hasidic party.  Actually, things turned out not bad at all for our young hero.  While waiting in a ginormous line for the bar (turns out those MoDox sure like the Manishevitz), The Big O was able to strike up a conversation with one of the pants-wearing women.  By the end of the evening, they were both completely wasted.  She was practically licking him in front of everyone, which made The Big O a wee bit paranoid that everyone was staring at him.   They took off, and he woke up the next morning in her apartment.  Happy New Year!

Personally, I think he got a pretty good deal.  Rarely does $40 and cab fare get anyone to the Promised Land…