>Whenever I look at the referring source for people who have visited my beloved blog, I am highly amused by those who did not have feminist ranting about the evils of waxed snatch in mind when they clicked the link. Generally, these individuals were referred by a search engine after they entered search terms like snatch or unshaved bikini.
As I contemplated these misguided (misguided to my site, not misguided in wanting to get their jollies) souls, I thought I could help. I decided to review the other sites for unshaved snatch. The two search terms that led someone to CUSS that I felt were most promising were biggest unshaved pussy in the world and “hairiest vulva.” I typed them into google. Here is what I found.
Hoes.com-hairy pussy links is the number four hit in my search for biggest unshaved pussy in the world. It provides a repository of six “hairy pussy links.” Nancy Drew wannabe that I am, I followed the leads.
The first link, ATK Natural and Hairy was impressive in the sense that the women shown were really fucking hairy. No bullshit. (Some slightly disturbingly hairy, but really, who am I to judge?) It proudly boasts that it is the first hairy online site and still the biggest and best of any hairy site on the web. Don’t want to take their word only? They provide several helpful independent site reviews, such as this one from Richard's Realm:
"Another fantastic website packed to the rafters with great content, this time focusing on 18-23 year old women (mainly) who have dared in this day and age to leave themselves au naturel in the bush department... what you have here is a real extravaganza for people who enjoy full-bush fun or organic dental floss."
(I feel so brave, bucking all the porn trends and not shaving and shit!) The gut-bustingly hilarious member testimonials are even better:
Wow, I am at loss of words to express my unbounded joy at seeing the gift of God to Man. I wonder how your photographers can conceptualize these exotic positions, with mind-boggling resolution, and yet control their emotions! Congrats to your team for fulfilling all my dreams!
This guy really reaches for the stars, doesn’t he?
"You have the GREATEST site on the Internet for finding real hairy girls!!... I would recommend it to any friend without hesitation."
How does that conversation start? Is it like, “Gee Bob, I just can’t find any good hairy snatch on the net lately. Got any ideas?”
This one just disturbs me (seriously):
I just want to tell you about my appreciation on your efforts. ATK Natural and Hairy is still the only place on the net to show pictures, including close-ups of girls that are either extremely wet or with that funny white stuff in their genitalia that I don't know the english word for."
Uh, what the fuck? People scare me.
Onto linked site #2. Hirsute World hurts my eyes. The site design is bad. There are no homegrown words of wisdom that make me laugh until I cry. At least it has a clever little tag line, “Go Where No Razor Has Gone Before.” Otherwise, totally skippable.
The real excitement of AllHairy.com, linked site #3, is not the wonderful introduction: “We take great pleasure in talking with our members and providing the kind of content and women they want to see as a hirusite [sic] fan.” They provide no member testimonials, despite their claim that they love feedback. Pooh. However, all is not lost. Scroll down to the bottom, and you can “Ask Pam Winter!” I have never heard of Pam Winter, but our friends at AllHairy.com claim that she is “the leader in the hirsute acceptance movement…” If you join, Pam can “share her hairy expertise with you in the live members forum today.” I don’t know what "hairy expertise" is, but it sounds fucking cool. And just think – you can get “hairy expertise” right here at CUSS for free!
I was totally skeeved out by Hairy Pussy Cuties, linked site #4. I hate people with teen fetishes. Grow the fuck up, you nasty pervs! However, I did laugh and laugh at their earnest pitch, resplendent with run-ons, found in teeny tiny lettering at the bottom of the home page:
Natural beauty is so rare nowadays, when all the net is blinking with shaved models and fake boobs, Hairy Pussy Cuties site is specializing in NATURAL HAIRY BUSH GIRLS and deliver you the most fresh pictures and movies exclusively shot by our photographgers all around the world and placed on our exclusive members area. We don`t promise you zillions of photos and swarm of videos like every other site does, however, we give you unlimited access to fair number of really rare materials such as photos and videos, because it is very hard to find a girl which does not shave nowadays... If you like teens with hairy bush, if you like natural bodies and the idea that everything what`s natural is beautiful, we invite you to join Hairy Pussy Cuties website.
Seems that CUSSies are a rare commodity. Don’t you feel extra valuable now?
The penultimate site, Beaver Shots, at least uses my favorite Canadian mascot in their name. It also claims to have “Incredible shots of the most delicious hair pies you’ve ever seen…” Hair pies – that is fucking funny! I’ll have to remember that. Otherwise, this site grossed me out. The first picture I noticed had some sort of “jizz” drizzled on a puff of pubes. EWWWW!
The worst was definitely saved for last. The Hair Patch, linked site #6, is totally cheesy and not very funny, at least on the home page. Unless you have a tiki fetish, it is not worth wasting any time on. If there’s not even comedic value, what is there in life?
Thanks for taking this tour of unshaved snatch sites with me. I hope you learned something and were entertained at the same time. I know that is true for me. Stay tuned for our next tutorial, “Sites that come up when you search for ‘hairiest vulva.’”