>The only good thing about having a mysterious digestive ailment is that when I am really sick, I also lose a fair amount of weight.  Yes, I know that it is demented that I count this as a positive side effect.  I don’t recommend it as a method of weight loss in general.  Crapping out turds that appear to be the same length and width as my forearm is uncomfortable, to say the least.  I have gas that could kill an infant.  In the past, I have asked people not to hug me so tightly, as I feared shit might get squeezed out of my ass.

The only other benefit is that if someone accuses me of being full of shit, I can proudly say, “Yes.  Yes, I am!”  Hey, I’ll take whatever good I can find in this otherwise shitty (hardee har har) situation.