>I didn’t watch the Golden Globe Awards last Monday. Usually I like awards shows and get into the whole can-you-believe-what-overpaid-undernourished-Ingenue-X-is-wearing? spirit of the event. However, I had seen a small preview of Joan and Melissa Rivers a few days before and I decided that someone who looks as alien as Ms. Rivers (and yet used to be so cool – what the fuck happened?) really should not be encouraged to add to the anti-woman atmosphere.

Yesterday I learned that I missed Isaac Mizrahi’s CUSS-like interrogations at the Golden Globes of overpaid-undernourished-Ingenue-Xes when he asked multiple starlets whether they were wearing any underwear and what type it was. As I watched the recap on VHI’s Best Week Ever while sweating my balls off on the stair climber, I was delighted to hear that tons of 90 lbs. stars said that they wear wearing “support” undies. No thongs, no g-strings. Aha! So they worry about hiding their guts, too! How exciting. Now, if only they would let themselves hang free a bit, the rest of us can follow suit…

The other big question popped by Mr. Mizrahi was to Eva Langoria (Desperate Housewives). He asked her what style her pubic hair was, which mortified her. Ha ha ha! I laughed cruelly and nearly fell of the stair climber machine as punishment for my meanness. People reap what they sow – if women would stop making designs in their crotch hair, people wouldn’t feel entitled to ask about it.